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female
,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend and I haven't had sex, but there have come times when we've come close to it--my problem is that I used to weigh 200 pounds and through diet and exercise went down to 130. The bad side is that I was left with a sagging tummy and breasts with no volume. I know I have much more important, intangible, lovely qualities about myself, but I am still not proud of the way my body looks...I lost 70 pounds and still feel unattractive--I'm afraid my bf will think this too if he was ever to see me without my clothes off--he's mentioned to me how he would love to make love to me and I feel myself almost nervously laughing at what he's said--mostly because the first guy I lost my virginity to (post weight loss) said he was disgusted by my body and asked whether or not I could have surgery to make me look better. So I guess I just don't feel like my current bf would say all of those nice things to me if he REALLY saw what I looked like--I almost feel insulted when he tells me those things because I imagine him seeing me and saying or thinking something completely different afterwards. Or maybe I am punishing my current bf for my ex's sins? Could you help?
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female
reader, QOTU +, writes (24 October 2005):
 Congrats about losing all that weight - I wish I could do that! :-P I've been trying but it doesn't work...
Anyway, I think that your boyfriend will love you anyway. The first guy who made love to you was obviously a horrible satanic arse-hole (sorry, but it's the truth) and love should be based more on ... well, love, than sex.
I'm sure he'll love you anyway... Like pops said - physical beauty is only skin deep!
I know I always say this in my answers, but people seem to forget: CUPID WAS PAINTED BLIND! :-D
G'luck, lovie!
3 QOTU
A
reader, pops +, writes (8 October 2005):
Talk to your doctor about your general health, and see if he or she can recommend any further exercises to reduce the loose skin, or sagging breasts. Other than plastic surgery, you probably can't change what is. Stop obsessing about how you look. If you have a bf who loves you, believe him. Beauty is only skin deep, and real beauty goes all the way to the bone. He sees your real beauty and is not concerned about the surface features. Love him for it.
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