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female
,
anonymous
writes: What does it mean that it's better for the guy to like you more than you like him? Isn't love supposed to go both ways? Or is it meant that girls shouldn't have the burden of being in love or loving a guy who treats them indifferently? As of now, I feel fine with my bf, but there isn't a tremendous amount of chemistry...of course he's attractive, and treats me with respect, and I KNOW it's too soon for the love talk...we've only gone out for 3 or 4months, but I feel as though he is more into me than I am into him? Do I have a good advantage or something? I feel like I'm talking about checkers more than a relationshp, but he asked me to be his gf and I saw he was a good guy and I wanted to see what it would be like to date him because I was interested in him and wanted to know more about him, but I see he calls me every night, always plans activities for us to do and always gives me compliments (I'm not complaining AT ALL) but I don't feel right now as into him as he is to me--should I cut it off, am I leading him on? I'm just so confused...I know once the honeymoon of the early stages of the relationship ends, he'll probably slack off on doing all the nice things he dos now,and if I feel the same way I do now, maybe the relationship will just fizzle out...I don't know what to feel. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, pops +, writes (8 October 2005):
When in doubt, don't. You are too young to be thinking about permanent relationships, so stop it. And don't allow any man to " slack off" after awhile in how he treats you. Good manners are the basis of all charm, and charm is the match that lights the fires in any relationship. If you don't demand common curtesy, all the time, you won't get respect, either. Without respect, you become a doormat people wipe their feet on and forget. Of course men and women should be loved equally ! This is a true partnership, and while every couple has their ups and downs, the respect, and love has to go both ways, always. You should " click "with a guy so well he is like putting on your favorite pair of shoes. And he should be that comfortable with you. Loving demands great communications skills. Often men are very poor at this. Change him. When he communicates what he is feeling, reward him; when he doesn't tell him to grow up or stay away from you. The rule between lovers should be that what you say to each other in private stays private, unless you agree that he share your comments with another. That way you don't inadvertently hurt your lover's feelings by embarrassing him or her with a disclosure he would rather you not have made. and, that is part and parcel with what respecting each other is all about.
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