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age
30-35,
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writes: i've lost my gf's trust because of lies i have said but some of the things i said to her were the truth and she believed to lie because of an coincidental thing said what happened between me and her and somehow her ex said that something with some details and one of my gf's male friends thinks i'm lying then i found out that this guy lies constantly and i confronted him about it with my gf and he lied to both of us about this situation and yet she still believes him and not me now its been a while and she said she won't talk to him but she also said if something happens she'll ask him about me and i already know he's only gonna make up some story to get me in trouble. Also i had a friend ship online with a female before i have told my gf about her but was nothing more than a mutual friendship then my gf told me to stop talking to her and so well i did and yet my gf still believes that i still talk to her and she brings up questions i can't answer because what she asked me never happened then she tells me why i lied to her and she will either believe the lie or should i tell her the truth and risk losing the love of my life idk what to do i love her so damn much and don't want to lose her but she can get easily manipulated because of her trust issues with me how can i help our relationship get better?
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male
reader, Dizme  +, writes (7 November 2010):
Ok I am a little confused but I will try to make sense. From what I gather you both have some trust issues. 1st things first. If you both have friends that make the other feel insecure or like there is more to the friendships you have with these other people it should be layed out on the table honestly. I am in a current sittuation with my gf of 3yrs and one of her exes that she says is a friend. I did ask her to not talk to him but that made it worse. Especially since this guy asks her in appropriate questions about feelings for each other. I came to a conclusion and I set it up like this:
1st I let go of my jealousy. I told her flat out if she wants to be in touch with this guy I would trust her to know when he is trying to take it to the next level and decide what she is going to do.
2nd I read online and am actively practicing how to let those things go.
If this guy is a lier then it will come out and hopefully she will know what to do. You can't control her and if you do it will only drive her away more. Now the other part in this is she should trust you. I think the only way to gain that trust is for you to show her trust. You two should sit down and air these feelings once and for all and agree to let it go once they have been aired. That means you agree never to bring it up again. If that can't happen then this relationship has bigger issues and counselling may help.
A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (7 November 2010):
 Tell her the truth. NEVER lie. Lies will only make things worse. Right now, your relationship is ALREADY at risk because of this man.
I think you both need to sit down and talk about the issues you have between you. She needs to stop relying on a seemingly compulsive liar and you need to begin showing her that you can be trusted. I do not know how you can go about doing that because I have no idea who you are or who your girlfriend is but, if possible, you need to try.
I hope that helps.
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