A
female
age
36-40,
*ngel2311
writes: I got a great issue goin on for of all I just had my healthy babyboy born on easter and am very happy about that. To continue I have this ex-boy that I can't let go. Reasons for that is cuz when we did go out I had many friends and lifestyle tellin me not to stay but now I see that I've made a mistake. He tried to save me from myself cuz I was just destoyin myself by doin all the wrong things. We just to fight sooo must that I ended it without realizing that he was really tryin to help but with tuff love. Now I have my babyfather who I only care for but lost interest in due to many troubling issues we've delt with and etc. Now that I see the light on how I was never over my ex and the his ways woo me, I just can't decide. Even if I did choose my ex. He had made it clear how we couldn't be together cuz in his words " he's not the guy that I lookin for" but does must of the things that a boyfriend would do. We hardly see eachother but when we do there's fire there and feelings grow strong. I hang on to every word he saids like my life depends on it and catch myself daydreaming about him in sitations that would have him be with me in a serious level. (For example: seeing him sleep holding my son or shoppin for food together) I kno do feel silly cuz I'm still with my babydaddy and my ex. has nothing to support me and my son. I just can't help it and find myself reminising about us again and had even looked at my own son and seen similar feature of him in my son. (Now as far as that goes my ex has a 1% chance of being the father and he knows this. I say 1% cuz he hadn't slipped in me but brushed his privates onto me and I've hear of babies being born that way.) My ex tells me that he loves me and I say it back. I don't kno what to do. He likes to hear me get jealous and madd and just saids that its pay back for brakin his heart b4. He's told me that I'm exactly now how he wanted me to be back then so why won't he be with me? What do I need to do to get him back? As far as staying with the father of my son its a slim chance but lots of change has to happen b4 that can happen. Just becuase I still do care for him and I know he'd be lost without me 'cuz I'm the only person he has makes my decision hardier. The reason why my ex and I didn't work out b4 is 'cuz I was being foolish and listened to my "friend" ( which I'm not anymore ) and tried to made a quick buck strippin to pay for food and rent. Which I think u can understand where my ex was pissed off at me. Then was forced to breakup with him cuz my "friend" saw it getting in the way. At the time he was abit rude about it and swore I was cheating ( which I wasn't ) when I told him the news about us splitting. I've always had a piece for him in my heart even if we had a short time goin out back then. But we have grown much closer now and he reminds me that how I'm being now is the way he wanted me to be when we were together. He knows I want more and gives me lil teasers to hang on to but I see him get into it too. I'd know we would have our problems too but at least I'd feel like being with him would help me grow as a person and that's the happiness that I'm lookin for. Someone smart and keeps me on my feet yet has intense passion to let out. Omg I feel 16yrs again with all this Just so ya' know I do all I can for my son and he was planned so it wasn't like I just got pregnant and decide to have him at the last minute. I've protected myself for years until I was ready which I am. I do work for a living as a network staff for the oxygen channel. so I dont really need another guy for his money I just like dudes tht got something goin for themselves. The father of my son totally changed on me while I was prego and thought that I would put up with his nonsence and insercurities just to find out that I won't. I saw my BD true colors and how he was such a liar when our son was born ,givng me fake hopes and promises. Now I'm just tired of the drama he carries with him and has dragged me into ( for example : drama with his family which has come to all of them putting and order of protection against him and ordering visitation to see my son which I've never had a problem bringin him over) that's just a waste of time and money. All I ever wanted was peace of mind and a happy home.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, A Cappella +, writes (16 May 2008):
 Don't do anything that will ruin the relationship you have with your babydaddy. Right now your hormones are all out of wack because of having a baby. Give yourself some time, and wait until you're getting sleep again before you do anything.
"The grass is always greener..." What you learn after a while is that while this is true, it's because on the other side they're using fertilizer (BS) you don't see and on your side all the BS is visible to you.
All relationships require work. "Happily Ever After" only works in fairy tales because they end the story there. Anyone who believes in Happily Ever After has a few divorces under their belts as they keep searching for the "one" relationship that doesn't require so much work. No such beast.
Try to work on being the mate you'd like your mate to be. It makes a big difference, believe me. And counseling -- if you mate won't go with you, go without him.
Good luck hon.
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