A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:How so you start life al over after u go are going through a separation from marriage headin for divorce especialy when u care someone about that person but they dont care much back? :(
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male
reader, PeterPan  +, writes (16 May 2008):
 The answer is "it's not easy", but there are some priorities that you need to do that will help your recovery. First and foremost, YOU should be your priority ALWAYS. In other words, you have excess baggage that was dumped in your lap: pain, anger, guilt perhaps, regret... the list is endless... but, if you notice, the list is mostly bad, destructive emotions. You need to address these emotions and dispense with them individually and rebuild yourself and your self-worth, self-confidence and self-esteem. All of these have taken a torpedo at midships and the damage must be confronted and dealt with.
Another thing to keep in mind is that the assignment of blame is not important. For whatever reasons, your marriage is ending. You need to be sure that you are addressing all the important issues (income, shelter, etc.) rather than constantly asking yourself questions like "why is this happening to me?". That's not important right now.
Third most important issue is to seek help and reassurance from either close friends or even professional counseling. You are in a vulnerable place right now. This is the time to gain support for yourself. If you can't get it from family, seek friends... if that alternative isn't possible, get a therapist.
Being recently divorced myself, I'm open to helping you out any way I can. I invite you to contact me via direct mail here... my heart goes out to you! Be strong because no matter what you're thinking, it's not the end of your life. In fact, it's a door opening to a whole new world of possibilities, but you have to want to step through it!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2008): I am going through this too. I still love my husband but he feels absolutely nothing for me. It is I know incredibly painful. The only think I can say from experience is to try to remain positive and do not dwell on this all the time like I did. The only answer is get through each day one day at a time and time does make things better. I am 18 months into a divorce and separated for 6 months and although I hate this situation I can now sleep at night and think about other things. Your life will pick up and I promise you you won't be so bothered after a while. If you can keep working or try and get a job this is good as it takes your mind off things during the day and then you are too tired at night to dwell on it. At work you will meet people and start socialising and having fun and then you start rebuilding your life. Getting on with the divorce process can also help as it finalises things so you can get on rather than being in no mans land. My main advice is really keep yourself busy so you feel tired and just wait for time to pass and it won't seem so bad.
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