A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Sorry to be long, but some background info may help.it was about 6 months ago, I met this guy at work. I was only working there for two weeks and we got on straight away. On the penultimate day, he asked me to accompany him on some business, I did. We talked a lot on our journey and he asked some personal questions (ie when am i likley to get married and about my family). I didn't mind, I felt comfortable. I didn't ask him much, but he told me lots about himself and his family too. He told me to keep in touch and we swapped numbers. On my last day, he told me to see him before I leave, I did, and again just said keep in touch. We didnt speak to each other for few weeks.Then, I went to the office and he was there, we went to lunch with one of his colleagues. the colleague went back to the office, and he had to go somewhere and I went with him. We spoke loads again, I felt so comfortable with him. on the way home all I was thinking was how I'm gonna say bye to him, when we got off the train, he grabbed hold of me and gave me hug (this wasn't a normal hug that I get from anyone) and asked me for dinner the following week, I said I'll call him and we'll arrange something. The following week we went to a recruitment fair together, we didnt go for dinner. When he met me on that day he gave me a hug, and went we were going home, we both made eye contact, and sort of touch each others hands. We then didn't speak for a while.He called me few weeks later, and then we started speaking often. We have arranged a few times to meet but something always happens and it never happens. He has said to me "we always say we are gona meet and we dont end up meeting". when he knows he has done something wrong, he apologises endlessly, until i tell him to stop.He had a few family issues and I was there for him. He thought his dad had cancer. When his dad got the all clear, he told me as soon as he found out. He recently has got a new job, which means he will be moving for few years.he has on several occasions asked to meet me. first he was busy with his interview preparations and i was in fact helping him with that, even if it was on the fone. and then once he got his job, I had exams so we couldnt meet then either, and he was helping me with my revision. now my exams are over, he has finished working at his current job, and starts his new job next month. So there is about 5 weeks before he goes. I know in those weeks he will be busy moving to his new place, and I totally understand that.As for him liking me back, yeah sometimes I do feel it, but then sometimes I don't. There have been time when we are speaking online and he randomly sends me kisses (but I know most people send kisses online, I send them to my friends, but I send them when I saying bye to them, but he sends them all over). He always wants to know how am I and how my job hunting is going. he always said he doesnt want me to work somewhere, where I gonna not be treated with respect. I know we will keep in contact.Also, he has asked me to meet his sister. obviously, that has not happened. He has said to me, that me and his sister would get on really well as we both are similar. (Well, yeah similar as we both love him. She loves coz that's her bother, and you already know I have feelings for him). but he does not know that, he was talking about our personalities. I would like to meet her.recently, i feel he is being really distant. i dont know why. i just hoping it because his moving and his busy with that and not any other reason, like avoiding me. i miss him already, and he hasnt even gone. he has asked me to visit him, and said he would show me around the city. but i dont know, if this just means as friends or anything else. i know that he is only going for about 2 years and then he going to move back home. he is only going coz he could not get a job here.I am totally in love with him and I don't want to lose him but I don't know what to do. I can't go with him, coz of other reasons but I do want to tell him how I feel but I don't wanna be rejected from him and lose him. We don't have any mutual friends. Sometimes I think he knows how I feel. He knows when I'm feeling down, we both do flirt on the phone all the time. please help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2007): Hi, you posted this same question a day or so ago, I guess you did not get the answers you were looking for?
What do you want to do? Do you want to tell him that you are totally in love with him and ask him if you can move in with him where he will be working for the next 2 years?
Hi is leaving in 5 weeks, do you want to go over to his house and have a torid affair until he leaves and cry your eyes out at the airport? Is that the drama you are looking for in your otherwise normally quiet life?
Do you want to ask him why in the last 6 months he has not so much as kissed you, let alone asked you out on a date. You have spent some time together because you worked together, he has offered you flirty friendship by speaking to you on line and sending you kisses and talking on the phone, but he has not begun a relationship with you.
It could be because he is not that into you, does not mean he does not like you or is not attracted to you or is not fond of you, but he is more interested in his career right now, he is moving, and he has no intention of moving you up there with him. He probably knows he does not want a long distance relationship, but will be dating girls in his new town.
If you want to tell him how you love him, then do that, but you may lose a friendship once your deeper feelings are revealed if they are not returned, he will then flee do to not wanting to lead you on.
If you want to remain as friends, then maybe you could go and visit him, but realize he is gone for 2 years, and long distance romances ususually do not last, in fact if you sleep with him, you will become a long distance booty call and probably nothing more....guys will not remain faithful when you are not there, especially if you do not have a history of having a romance and do not have an agreement to wait to get married.
He is trying to be a nice guy here, he does not want to lead you on, or make you think he wants a relationship in order to get you in the sack, I think he is showing some maturity here, and you are being unrealistic in where this relationship is going.
Buy you are young, you are romantic and you want drama, so I can't tell you what you are going to do, I can only tell you from my 20 plus years dating experience how I think this would play out if you take the next step and beg for a relationship.....you crying at the airport.
A
female
reader, ADELE14  +, writes (19 March 2007):
just tell him or your lose him and if you realli love him then you would have the confidence to tell him
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