A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi aunts,I've just completed a years worth of cancer treatment and luckily I might be OK, but my ex partner who was abusive to me during our three year relationship has got in touch saying he might want to get back together with me. He was with another woman all throughout my treatment and they are only just ending their relationship. I've been through the mill and back and feel very vulnerable. I firmly believe that the stress he put me through significantly contributed to me being ill. I loved him with all my heart but he was a rat. He's still trying to play me and I just can't shake him off. It's shameless for him to attempt it considering everything that's happened. He's been begging me to not tell his current partner what he's done with me but he's been chasing me since we split trying to stay in touch and telling me he wants to get back together.What should I do????
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2017): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you everyone for your thoughts and also your best wishes, I'm very grateful.I think you're advice was what I needed to hear and I think I kind of already new it. I found out that four days after my ex popped up telling me that he loved me and that he was wrong, and that his new relationship is so awful and a mistake bla, bla, blah he flew abroad on holiday with his girlfriend. So she can't be that bad. Not only that but he took her to a country that has specific sentiment in our relationship and to the very restaurant where we celebrated Valentine's Day just before we split.I've now since blocked him from all methods of communication. Although I'm sure it's not the last I've heard of him....
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2017): Just say no....you really are worth more than that.Any man who will not stand by you in sickness and Heath is not a keeper.What happens if the cancer comes back?You know he will dump you again.But I bet if he got sick you would be there for him. He really is a terrible person and I really hope you see that now.Dump the jerk.
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A
female
reader, ALM12  +, writes (25 August 2017):
 DO NOT i repeat DO NOT TAKE HIM BACK!! YOU are important YOUR HEALTH is important. Stress induces sickness and from your post this a stressful toxic piece of shit man. Block that piece of shit guy and enjoy your life!!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (25 August 2017):
 Amen to CodeWarrior's answer!
Tell him to go fly a kite off a cliff or something less poetic and then you BLOCK HIM on everything and STOP talking to him.
A toxic person is the LAST thing you need in your life.
Focus on your recovery and screw him and the horse he rode in on. Who cares that he wants to leave his current GF?
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (24 August 2017):
 Sweetheart, you may FEEL vulnerable, but you are a strong woman who has come through a life threatening illness and who has the rest of her life ahead of her. The last thing you need is someone blighting your future - as this idiot would undoubtedly do.
This is the first day of the rest of your life. Block him on your mobile and on social media. Refuse to react to any attempts he may make to contact you. Hold your head high and go and enjoy your life.
Hugs. x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2017): Run for your life. He is not worth a second chance. You will be glad in the future without him! Best of luck!
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A
male
reader, Riot2017  +, writes (24 August 2017):
F*CK NO!"I firmly believe that the stress he put me through significantly contributed to me being ill. "BEING AROUND A TOXIC AND ABUSIVE PERSON could have triggered that cancer you got. When you are weak, malnourished and depressed, your immune system can weaken, and that can allow cancer to grow and spread.PLEASE, IF YOU KNOW THAT GUY IS ABUSIVE, STAY AWAY FROM HIM, REGARDLESS OF HOW MUCH YOU USED TO LOVE HIM.DO YOU WAN'T YOUR CANCER TO NEVER COME BACK? AVOID TOXIC AND ABUSIVE PERSONS, FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!You deserve a NORMAL and HEALTHY relationship. There are a lot of GOOD guys out there what might be interested in you, so it's better for you to move on, and NEVER LOOK GUY.A RAT will always be a RAT. Best luck!
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male
reader, Been there Now over it +, writes (24 August 2017):
This is a guy who loves a repeat performance. You say he's a rat...why would you want a shameless rat back in your house? Especially one who has already abandoned you when the going got tough, and now wants back in the house because things are good.
We humans have a tendency to give second chances, even when it is toxic. And what's this with his "current partner"? If you take him back, he'll soon be asking her to take him back, that he really doesn't love you. Count your blessings that he is out of your life. And keep him that way. Don't you deserve better?
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (24 August 2017):
 Don't even think about it.
Block him. You're here telling us how bad he was so why do you need advice on what to do?
He will be using you as a stop gap until something better comes along. Surely you think you're worth more than that?
Fingers crossed on your recovery btw, I very much hope you get the all clear.
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