A
male
age
30-35,
*3puremage1
writes:Is it right for me to say goodbye to her?About two weeks ago, I have sent out a goodbye letter to a girl whom I love because I was mentally exhausted after everything occurred between her and me. Btw here is the link for the goodbye letter: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-have-written-a-goodbye-letter-to-a.htmlTwo days after the letter was sent out, she seem to quite upset and kind of came back and took revenge. I was really upset for making her upset too because I didn't want to hurt her. I love her. I miss her. I like her. Despite the fact that she had told all my things to her ex, she treats me very nice. But somehow things went wrong at last.Now, I started to regret since I believe I have hurt her. What can I do??
View related questions:
her ex, revenge Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, 83puremage1 +, writes (20 April 2011):
83puremage1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2011): "Despite the fact that she had told all my things to her ex, she treats me very nice."That's a pretty big transgression and violation of your trust. I understand why you would want to say goodbye.It's easy to love people even though they mistreat you...sometimes getting over them and accepting that you need to break it off for your own self-preservation is a hard and lengthy process. I've definitely been there. The fact that she's looking for revenge isn't a great indication. It's true that her anger might very well mean that you upset her and hurt her feelings, but her vindictiveness means she's dealing with her own pain by trying to make you suffer as much as she is...this is not a great way to heal a relationship. In fact, I would venture to guess that her attitude would make reconciliation impossible. In my opinion, you did the right thing saying goodbye. You just have to get through the rough part of meaning it and sticking to what you know is good for you. Lean on better friends and put a little distance in between yourself and her. It’s a hard thing to do, but I think you should do it.
...............................
A
male
reader, 83puremage1 +, writes (19 April 2011):
83puremage1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOh well there is nothing I can do. Hopefully, things will get better when we meet in school again which will be next week. Anyway thanks for your support. I wish you can go through your own difficult process.
...............................
A
male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (19 April 2011):
 You may, it sounds like clinical depression to me, however I'm not a professional.Exercising such emotions can be healthy, but it's usually best if you DON'T send that kind of thing. :)On the bright side, you've realized that things with her are just too difficult for you to deal with. That's good. Realizing your limits is very important. Focus on yourself, and deciding what you want out of life. I'm doing something very similar, and it's a difficult process, but one that's worth it.
...............................
A
male
reader, 83puremage1 +, writes (19 April 2011):
83puremage1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your honest opinion. When I wrote the letter, all my feelings that I was holding on for 6 months released. To be honest with you, I seriously think I have some kind of psychological problems. I don't feel happiness for long. And your right,in academics I am one of the top and I made a 5 figure during the credit crunch by using my parents account. The key for my success: be a loner.
...............................
A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (19 April 2011):
Let this go! My honest opinion of that letter is that it was horrible. I wish I would have seen that post when you made it because I would have screamed not to send it. It's you griping about being the only guest at your pity party and blaming her for how you feel. YOU may not see it that way, but I can pretty much guarantee that's the way she saw it. Not to mention that it makes you look completely psycho. I'm sorry if that's harsh, but it's the truth.
You put WAAAAAAYYYYYYY too much pressure on her. She's the ONLY happy moment in your life?!? If that's the case, you REALLY need to seek therapy. Honestly, I have trouble valuing myself too, and I know it is hard, but happiness has to come from within.
You're young and seem relatively intelligent. Don't let your life revolve around this. Seek some help, maybe from a school counselor, or some other professional. You really need it.
...............................
|
