A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:im a 26 year old girl in love with a 38 year old married man...for the last 2 years hes been married 15 years with a 12 year old daughter..the strange part is that i dont want him to leave his wife,its not about the money because i have enough,or the sex..i got married when i was 21 to a real loser who beat me up and left me for my bestfriend,it was bad,then i got into this relationship,i love him so much it hurts,his wife n me were friends thats the sad part because i know i lost a really good friendship though shes been cheating on him..but still he made it clear he wont leave his wife because of his daughter,n ive never asked him too..im confused as to what i want..he makes me feel loved ,but i get to see him for about an hour once in 10..if im lucky we make love ..once a month..i want more of everything..what should i do? help me please..
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2008): I am in much the same position as you. My husband and I have another couple that we have socialised with for 10 years and we are a very tight nit group. My marriage is abusive and loveless because my husband had an affair which broke my heart and destroyed my soul and I sought solace in the aforementioned male. For a long time he was just a friend but over the last couple of months we have started an affair. I also do not want him to leave his wife as she is a wonderful sweet person and also my friend but I love him so much and he loves me too. We keep trying to break it off but I dont know if we can. I can only see him in the privacy of one of our homes or its a hands off approach when we are in public. Its impossible to see him any more because his family will always come first and because im not willing to give up on the one beautiful and positive thing in my life I put up with that and just hang on for the times when I can be with him. I feel for you, really I do. Its so hard. The question should really be 'how to give up an affair when you know its the "real thing"'
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2008): You know deep inside that if he loved you, he would of left his cheating wife along time ago, somehow he is still holding on. He has real self-esteem issues, his daughter is 12 she KNOWS WHAT IS GOING ON BELEIVE ME My daughter was 12 when my husband was cheating and she knew before me. Kids are very perceptive that way, this man is using his daughter as an excuse to stay or is afraid if another man will take his place in the home as a stepdad. Its his "little girl" in any case if he really cared the sex once a month sorry you being his mistress that shocks me. Sweetie you are young move on you deserve a good man. I have written snooty remarks on all women who sleep with married men, but in your case it is different I truly feel sorry for you and hope you can be strong and live your life free of this. Good Luck :-)
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A
male
reader, chlez83  +, writes (17 January 2008):
Why are you complaining about? You knew he was married when you met him and now you expect him to behave like he's single.You can't have it your way in everything.You accepted him so accept his life schedule too.The more you feel like this,the more you'll start to ask for more and that may push him away from you.Do you ever think his wife knows about your affair? You have not much choice here coz he told you that he's not willing to end his marraige so either live with it or leave him!
Good Luck.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (17 January 2008):
 Take what you have been given and be contented.To ask for more is taking from others which does not belong to you.Learn to co exist and share .If what is yours , will be yours.If it is not yours, it belongs to others.
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A
female
reader, living and learning  +, writes (17 January 2008):
LOVE YOURSELF! A lot of times we dont love ourselves and thats why we get into the worst situations.You got rid of that awful ex, for the better, and now you have time to focus on you.You attach yourself to this married man because he treats you the opposite of your ex-husband. The fact of the matter is you can find a single man that will treat you just as well even better if you give your self a chance, but you must first work on you. Your self esteem has suffered a severe emotional blow and your married man is just a quick fix for some empty feelings that you are harboring with-in, but like a crack addic, you will be chasing the first high with every hit and you will never be totally fulfilled.You have to do you. Get to know you. Find out what you like and dislike. Set some boundaries for yourself, but most importantly every day you must love you.Every morning in your bathroom look at your self and tell your self,"Hey girl, I love you and it is my duty to take care of you. Nobody can do that better than me. So lets get it together and make our next move our best move.
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