A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I just turned 18 last month. My bf and I have been dating a while. We are both virgins. We both have expressed a desire to have sex. I have decided that I want the first time to be in my bed. I think my room is good because we both would be comfortable and could take our time. I live with my single mother. The only problem is my mother. She has said that she does not want to find me having sex. However, she has a bf. I have heard her and her bf having sex recently. I have mention that I have heard them doing it. She has said that they were expressing their love for each other. I don’t mind hearing them. I just wish that I too could have the chance for my bf and I to have sex. I don’t want to sneak around or worry about being caught or quite. There may me some noises of my bf and I expressing our love for each other as well. After all I am 18 now. I would guess that my mom has figured that my bf and I want to do it too. How can I start a conversation with her on this topic? How can I ask for permission to do it with my bf in my room? What can I say?Thanks.
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female
reader, Josetta  +, writes (20 December 2007):
tell her ur almost a grown up and say''mom im basicle a grown up so can i express my love whith my bf like u and ur bf'' and if she says no adapt to that
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (20 December 2007):
 I see your post as meaning "what's good for the goose is good for the ganter". And you're right. If she can express her love at home, so can you. I suppose your mother will say that she wants to avoid your getting into trouble, and I think she would be right in this. But, in the end, there's no real justification for her telling you not to do it at home other than the discomfort of it. You can always have sex outside home, can't you? So her telling you not to do it at home is not really what is constraining you.
I don't think I would be in a position to tell you not to have sex. But, I recommend that you follow Richard's advice and use some form and contraception, practice safe sex, and find a place where you can express yourself. If it can't be at home, well, the world is a big place.
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A
male
reader, Richard_EMids  +, writes (20 December 2007):
 Hi. You could ask her first about going on the contraceptive pill. Not many 'kids' ask their parents permission to have sex though. Why don't you just use the house when everyone's out? Tell your Mum after the event. Tell her you did all the 'safe stuff.' Once she knows you're responsible, she might let you continue to have safe sex.
Make sure you pull the blinds down though. There's a boy in the next question planning to spy on the girl next door having sex!!
Richard
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