A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi! I just got married 12 days ago, and I was a virgin on my wedding night. I have had sex with my husband many times now, but not once has he made me orgasm. I have lied to him telling him I have but I am starting to get frustrated a bit. I am completely new at this and want to enjoy sex but I have no clue how to do it right - so far it just turns out to be a massive workout for me. Now my question is, what method can I try during sex to orgasm? What should I do!?!
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orgasm, wedding, wedding night Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI want to thank all of you for helping me out with this. Every word was very helpful and I will sit down with my husband and talk to him about this. Especially since I want to be honest with him in everything. Thanks again for all the help and tips.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2013): You should be honest and tell him what is going on. You are married and this is a team effort. It took me a long time to achieve an orgasm from only penetration. Have him explore oral and incorporate toys. But an orgasm is partially about a woman positioning herself to achieve it. Men do not understand the woman's body as much as a woman can. So it is up to you to take the lead and explore it so that your sexual encounters can grow and get better over time. Research, read and apply what you have learned to the bedroom. But I cannot stress being honest. He will be more disappointed that he is not pleasing you, because that should be his ultimate goal.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2013): Two words... Karma Sutra.
There are so many books and articles on this subject, it is almost painful that you would even need to ask about this.
That said, don't fake orgasms... trust me, you two aren't gonna find the harmony here if you don't want to read the sheet music.
In plain English, if he thinks he's getting the job done and he's not, how can he find what works for you if you won't guide him? He's not psychic. The only way to know what you want is if you let him know.
Try self pleasure and erotic imagery and video to find out where your interests lie and what does it for you and then use that information to guide him.
And yes, get your hand on the Karma Sutra, the Joy of Sex and any guide you can and above all... relax. Sex is not a chore, it's fun. Once you hit the high notes the world sings for you. And the best part is all the practice it takes. The practice is awesome.
Oh, and talk to your man about it. Only way, as we are all gonna say.
Flynn 24
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A
female
reader, mrswaldhauser  +, writes (17 January 2013):
 You need to RELAX first of all. If you sit around and worry about this all day it's never going to happen. You are meant to enjoy sex not worry about the ultimate goal. It's not all about an orgasm. You are having sex to enjoy each others bodies and the time together, especially when you are a married couple as you may not get much time ;). You've only just lost your virginity 12 days ago so don't be so hard on yourself. It will help if you can get the courage to sit down with your husband and talk to him about all of this. Tell him your worries and seeing as its only being 12 days it is a very good idea to tell your husband you have been faking orgasms. It may dent his pride but tell him you didn't want to upset him. It is better to tell him early rather than carrying on and telling him years down the line, then it really will upset him. Tell him you have enjoyed the sex with him but you haven't been able to reach that goal and because of your inexperience you didn't know what to do about it. Try different things with each other. For women around only 25% of women can achieve orgasm through penetration alone. Nearly all women can achieve an orgasm via stimulation of the clitoris. But you really need to relax first and not have an agenda on your mind.This link may help you :)http://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-relationships/anatomy-of-an-orgasm
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