A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend and I have been together for 20 months (1 year, 8 months) and our relationship has really been going down the crapper lately.When something doesn't go her way, like say she was wrong in a discussion/argument, she crosses her arms and will look away from me, or whomever the unfortunate bastard is at the time, and refuse to talk to them. When you try and talk to her, she'll snap back with this childish attitude, arm's still crossed with a sour look on her face. This applies to whenever I'e ever tried to talk with her about things. She'll just be too goddamn stubborn to even hear me out.She's got a very short fuse with people (me ESPECIALLY) and last Friday at school, all she did that day, and the rest of the week, was get angry at me and be a right bitch to me. So I called her on it after school after I got fed up with her and I said sternly "Right, we're going to sort this out, with or without your help" and she had, as I said above, horrible look on her face, (mean) childish disposition toward me and then she simply walked off to go home. So I ran after her and was like "What the hell is your deal? All you've done is get angry at me all week!" And all she did then was look at me, kiss me (I don't even know it was a kiss because she pulled back so fast) and then went home.So I sent her a text. In it was an ultimatum telling her how fed up I was with her constant moodiness and horrible attitude toward me. So I rung up her home phone and she was actually bothered to talk it out with me! I told her exactly what I thought, and how much our relationship has gotten worse over the past few months. So I proposed us breaking up and she got really, really upset at the fact. She told me she was sincerely sorry for everything. And that she knew that she controls me, and manipulates me, and cries to get her own way with me. And she pleaded with me over the phone not to leave her because she said that "her whole world revolved around me" and begged me to give her a second chance saying that she would change, and start to be nice to me, and not be as much of a bitch..So I did. I gave her one last chance. Then today, at school, she just reverted back to her moods before the phone discussion and was very spiteful toward me. So I just ignored her ridiculous, attention seeking ways and walked off from her.I tried talking to her about sex and why we can't have it more. She snapped at me and walked off. So I find myself in a relationship with a girl that I love who refuses to do anything physical; I just keep reassuring myself that she's a lesbian so I don't break down in tears. Who, mentally, only cares about how she looks because she has a body-image issue (she hates how she looks and think's she ugly/fat despite only being 5'1 and 42kg). And that emotionally, can't handle anything to do with me but will be there for her friends whenever needed.How is that one girl, who has told me she "loves" me be so apathetic toward me and our relationship? How can I break it off with her in the most non-hurting way possible? And why couldn't I break up with her when i had the chance!? I'm sick of feeling like a used, chew toy to her!!!
View related questions:
her ex, lesbian, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, shawncaff  +, writes (7 February 2011):
 Her behavior, though extreme in its immaturity, is unfortunately prevalent in more subtle ways in adult relationships. So it is good in a way that you are experiencing it now, so you will know what to look out for in the future.
Your relationship is missing a key ingredient for all good and healthy relationships: communication. You are sensing the truth: if communication breaks down and both parties do not make an effort, a real relationship becomes impossible.
You have given her chances. Instead of breaking it off with her, I would say you need time apart from her. See how you feel, let her see how she feels, and then decide if you want the break to be permanent or not.
My only question is whether she is behaving differently now than she was when you first met. You don't really discuss whether the communication was better at the outset. Was it? If so, when did it change? Perhaps there was an underlying reason for the change, such as family problems or fears about the future, or common teenage angst. If it is not a part of her character, maybe there is an underlying reason you two can discuss together.
A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (7 February 2011):
 She sounds very self-centered and immature. How old is she?
You've tried reasoning with her, expressing your disappointment and anger and finally laid it out to her in very strong terms: "Now listen up: 'A', 'B', 'C'" so to speak and THAT got her attention alright. But, it turned out to be very temporary, she went right back to her old ways.
Really, the only thing you can do now is to ignore her. As in COMPLETELY ignore her. As if she doesn't exist. If she wants to know why, tell her its over and done with, because you are not willing to put up with her behavior. Then stick with it! No negotiations, no promises on her part about how she'll do better.
YOU deserve better. And, hopefully, this will serve as a wake-up call to her to think hard about the way she treats boys (maybe other friends/family also). Perhaps it will be a step on the road for her in learning how to become more considerate........
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2011): You have to go cold turkey. I did. It's not easy but it's better than being a chew toy. Turn off her lights and close your door to her. Don't fall into her game anymore, and if you have to give it to her full force with truth, do it which will hurt her although not your intent. She needs to know that she shouldn't treat anyone that way, especially you. Your need to check her into reality then roll out for on the serious no turn back.
...............................
A
male
reader, knaixer  +, writes (7 February 2011):
 Ok, I pretty skim what you have said. But it sounds to me like you are one of those pussy guys. MAN UP!!! Don't let her get away with that behavior. Trust me, once a girl in a relationship, she will only love one man. So if you still love her, don't be afraid to lose her.
Here's what you do: Man up and told her off. Or if you want a nice (semi-pussy) way, just stood there and be like "what are you doing?" with an eyebrow raise or something. Make her know that you know she acting like a brat where she shouldn't.
Girls love to be told off by guys (it's complicated) She will say she don't like how you treat her, but inside she like how manly you are. And how secure she feels that you can protect her.
...............................
|
