A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My husband and I have been married for 6 years. We have 2 young children together, and he has a 12 year old from a previous relationship. The "Baby's Momma Drama" is an ongoing thing, IN and OUT of court for numerous FALSE allegations, a SEVERE case of Parent-Alienation. I've had enough! My 2 children are confused, our bank is drained, and my brain is strained. The children don't even know if they have a sibling or not, because we never know if we'll see the 12 year old for sure. Our marriage has suffered many things in 6 years; verbal abuse, physical abuse, trust issues, lies. We've been to counseling, and it seems we have overcome them all, but things never seem quite right. He prommissed to stop using profanity, smoking, and belittling remarks to me in front of the kids. He hasn't. There are other little things that we do to get on each others nerves, but these 4 seem to bother me the worst. If we had custody of the 12 year old, we would SHARE the child, unlike the Birth Mother. My husband never REALLY listens to me when we talk. He just dismisses my feelings. I am a stay-at-home mom, because he says he wants me to raise our 2 children, not a stranger. However, I know he really doesn't want me to work because he is so jealous. He asks, "What have you done all day? You don't do anything. You stay home with the kids all day." I have recently gone back to college full time. Instead of him supporting me, he says, "You're wasting your time, our money, and you'll never finish it." I contemplate divorce often. I think of previous relationships, and the "If I's...", "Should have's", and "What if's". I'm tired being the only one trying; the one who does it all. I don't think I can stand another 6 years like this. What should I do?
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female
reader, Jendorset  +, writes (30 August 2007):
Your relationship needs to start focusing on YOUR two children for a while. Hes got to remember hes got three children...not one. You also need to find a way of him listening to you and respecting you. Perhaps if he knew that he was risking your relationship he would change.
A
female
reader, SusieQ1970 +, writes (30 August 2007):
Your sound both mentally and physically exhausted by your marriage. If you think you can cope alone or have the support network from friends and family then perhaps you should consider a temporary separation for a start. I'm a great advocate of marriage so long as their is respect and equality on both sides and clearly there is neither coming from your husband, ultimately he sounds controlling.Time apart may make you both see things differently and could lead to a reconciliation, if it doesn't then you most both accept that your marriage is no longer viable. But for the sake of your children ensure that they do not feel this is their fault. It's important to let them know that Mummy and Daddy both love them but that sometimes grown ups are better at being parents separately.Bearing in mind the problems your husband is having with regard to his 12 year old, please don't let history repeat itself.I wish you all the luck in the world.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2007): i think you should have a heart to heart and tell him how you feel and that you are considering leaving because of his abuse and lack of support etc. and then if he asks you for one last chance id advise giving it to him but if the problems arise again leave him.good luck! xx
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