A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:okay, I've liked this guy for about 4 months now. 4 months ago, he told me he liked me. Yet, when my friends asked him out for me (which, although I wanted to go out with him, I didn't want them to do), he said no. Recently, he went out with someone else and, at first, it seemed like he was pretty much ignoring me. But after about a week or so, he began talking to me more, hugging me more, and putting his arms around my waste (like he did when he supposedly fancied me). Shortly after, they broke up. This carried on for a few weeks, but then, next thing I know, he's after this other girl. She is one of those people who flirts with guys, get them to like her, then she just goes and hurts them. Yet everyone else sees her as an angel. Anyway, he asked her out and she said no, but he still held her hand a lot they even kissed once or twice. But then she hurt him. I don't know what happened, but there is now nothing going on between them at all. The same day, before it happened, he gave me a gentle kiss on the neck. Later, after it happened, he asked if he could kiss me again. I am a fairly nervous person, and, although I've had a boyfriend before, I'd never kissed anyone. So, to answer his question, I said I don't know.We had arranged to meet up the following day, so that's what happened. While we were together, he kissed me. On the lips. My first kiss. For the rest of the time we were together, we held hands, hugged, he had his arms around me, and we kissed. A lot. He also kissed me on the neck a couple of times. If anyone had seen us, they would have thought we were dating. He then also asked me to keep that day between us. I asked him later that day, if it meant anything for us. He said that if we see how we are now goes, then if it goes well, we can go out or something.I really like him, and he's a really nice guy, but, all this is new to me, and it seems almost like he's going after other people, but when it doesn't work out, he comes back to me, as if I'm some sort of back up. This is not what I want to be.I don't know what to do or make of it all, as I said I really like him, but everything that's happened is causing me to have doubts. Can you give me any advice on what I should do? Any help would be very much appreciated. Thanks.
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female
reader, tash1805 +, writes (26 March 2012):
This sounds so like a guy my age who done the same thing to me! He would always come find me at break times and flirt, then we met up one day and he said let's keep this between us see how it goes (he was also my first kiss) next day people found out and he turned horrible to me! After that we had a lot of ups and downs and I was always there for when he wanted a "back up" I found out the hard way that I was just there for comfort to pick up the pieces from his broken relationships and really I was just a friend! We are still to this day great friends but we have so much history things can be akward! I'm 21 have a baby and married! We still catch up but it is akward! If this guys a great mate to you then learn from my mistake! Be friends and find someone who will make you happy and has all their attention on you not other girls!!
A
female
reader, supermum +, writes (25 March 2012):
 You deserve a lot better hun. You say he is a nice guy, but he knows you like him and is still trying to rub your nose in the fact that he is going out with other people over you.Not only that, but the relationships he has been in have not lasted long. There will be a reason for that. And then there is the fact that he is trying to keep what happened between you a secret. That either means he is seeing someone else or is embarrassed by you. Or possibly that he has his eye on someone else already and does not want them to find out.If I were you, i would do your best to move on. You can do a lot better than that. Take some time to focus on yourself. You are so young... you don't need a boyfriend at the moment!!! You need to be concentrating on finishing school and getting good grades. There will be plenty of time for boyfriends later.I know that what I said is not what you wanted to hear. But it is sound advice. When I was 15, I was pregnant, and really struggling to finish school with good grades. What were meant to be the best years of my life were spent changing nappies and cleaning up sick. People grow up so fast nowadays, you should enjoy being young. And before you think I am old, I am only 20 myself (coming up 21 next month). I am not that much older than you. And I wish I had spent my childhood differently.
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