A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for almost three years and recently I've started to feel different. Last year he broke the trust in our relationship but I stayed with him (stupid I know). He used to not really give much interest in our relationship whereas I did, now the tables have turned and I don't feel like I used to, however he has changed massively and can't do more for me. I think almost losing me made him realise and made him change his ways. He's completely different person. Another thing that doesn't help the situation is a guy at work. I've been there for three months and I absolutely love it. There is a guy who, when I first started, I clicked with straight away, we get on, he's attractive and is a genuinely nice and friendly guy. He is also in a relationship of five years and has a two year old. However, he is only in the relationship because of the child. He and his partner do not get on like they did. Recently we've been talking and trying to help each other with our problems. He admitted that he likes me and that I deserve to be treated better. On our works Christmas night out we ended up kissing, which we both feel bad about. I find myself getting butterflies when I see him and I look forward to his messages. I don't know what to do. I don't want it to go any further but I am starting to like him.Any help or advice on what I should do in this situation?
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male
reader, RevMick +, writes (7 February 2016):
 Two parts really.
Keep work at work and relationships outside the office. It's not easy I know but you just don't want that floating round the water cooler.
Secondly, if the relationship with your partner is dead and gone, be honest and come clean. Walk away as friends and be done with it.
The grass is always greener, and all that but as long as you are honest and forthcoming to everyone involved.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (6 February 2016):
 I agree, just END it with your BF, and don't be a cheater or homewrecker.
When things at home (in your relationship) isn't great, it is EASY to notice other men/women instead of either fixing what's broken or ending it. BUT the right thing is to END the relationship with your BF, if it's just not working for you any more. Rebuilding trust takes time and effort. And sometimes, it just doesn't happen.
What he did last year (that broke your trust) is partly why you no longer feel in love with him any more, when trust erodes, other feelings like love, respect, etc starts to fall like dominoes. But here is the clincher... what YOU are doing is not any better than whatever he did last year - you have started a inappropriate connection with a guy who ALREADY has a GF. It hurt your feeling when your BF did something adverse to the relationship, but somehow it's OK when YOU do it? Two wrongs do NOT make a right. Ever.
And IT IS 100% irrelevant if your colleague is "only" with her because of the child. That is full on bull-crap. They aren't married, and he can still be a father without living with her. What does he CHOOSE to do? CHEAT on his partner. What he is telling you is the SAME old crap cheaters tell the OW (other woman) "I don't love her anymore", "we never have sex any more", "I'm just with her for the kid(s)", or the best one... "she is OK with me seeing other people". DON'T be daft! But let's say for ONE minute that it's true. IF he is JUST staying for the kid.. messing around with you will change nothing. Other that YOU and HE will be a couple of cheaters. Not exactly something to be proud of, eh? And it also means he isn't going to leave the GF for you.
Don't be a relationship jumper! When you END one relationship TAKE some time to reflect and deal with what REALLY went on. Take some time to be SINGLE before jumping into a new one or into bed with a new guy.
If a guy has a wife, fiance or a GF - don't fall for their lines. Don't be that naive. It's self destructive.
And lasts little tidbit of advice... Don't crap where you eat. (basically don't date in your work place). When things don't work out (and for you and your co-worker I doubt it will as he probably is going to STAY with his GF things will become awkward at work because there was expectations of more.
TAKE some accountability for YOUR own actions in all this mess.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (6 February 2016):
 At your age, its perfectly natural and normal to grow apart from someone that you have dated for a long period of time. You have changed and don't want the same things that you did a few years ago. People change, they grow apart it can happen at ANY age but especially when you are young and just starting out dating.
But PLEASE just end things with your boyfriend. Be fair to him. If the relationship is over, then end it and be free to date others. Don't cheat.
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