A
female
age
30-35,
*andy123
writes:I am very confused and am struggling with something, and I have nobody to talk to about this.. I will try to keep this short and concise...I am in a commited relationship with a wonderful guy. He is so sweet. There are no issues with us at all.Ive been spending time with a coworker. We've become very close. I now condiser her a best friend. She is the most amazing person I have ever met. She has a beautiful soul and is beautiful on the inside and out.I have developed very strong feelings for her. I think about her all the time and want to spend all my time with her. I think that i have fallen in love with her... This has caused a few problems.My relationship with my BF has suffered somewhat. When I am with him, id rather be with her. Im also just not that into sex with him anymore...I think he gets the sense something is wrong.Secondly, I have no idea how to deal with the feelings im having for my friend. She is very affectionatie with hugs and cuddles on the couch etc.. but i know if she actually has the same feelings that i am having. I dont know what is going on.. All my life I have been attracted to men.. i dont think I am gay but these feelings are so strong.And if i am gay, i dont know how my bf and my parents are gonna handle that... what do i say to them? I think i want to be with my friend, but i dont want to disapoint everybody else in my life.. And if i do realize i want to be with her, i dont even know if she wants to be with me! What do i even say to her! OMG... im going crazy.
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female
reader, INCREDIBLEME01 +, writes (6 December 2010):
 There is a very easy solution to most of your questions. First, sit down with this amazing woman, as you put it and lay your thoughts out to her. Explain if it not reciprocated on her end, you would like to remain friends and put some distance between you until you both feel comfortable with picking up your frindship again. I will say this much, I have a best friend, female and have for 30+ years. We have never cuddled together. You could be just curious or you may in fact be bi-sexual or a lesbian in denial due to what the world will judge for. If your relationship is so strong and wonderful with your boyfriend, be honest with him. He might be mad, but he will down the road more so after your feelings have been acted upon and you have cheated on him physically. He maybe able to work through your feelings with you, if not then it is not as healthy and happy a relationship as you so thought. So far you only have emotional feelings but no physical act of betrayal, which may be easier for him to handle as far as respect for him goes. Above all else, confront your feelings...you are either, bi, lesbian or curious. Don't live a lie for your own happiness, no one else is responsible for your happiness but you. If they reject you from their life because of your decision they are being conmtrolling and unconditional. No loss then of them. Be sure of your feelings before you confess to anyone including your boyfriend, as once the others know you will then have to deal with the drama and judgement from whomever. See if it's just her, or women in general by confessing to her, and then before you act upon these feelings, talk to your b/f. Be ready for him to expose you, so be sure before you talk to him.
A
female
reader, Sonjia +, writes (5 December 2010):
Sometimes we become confused about our sexual orientation and are afraid of the stigma that often goes along with a gay relatiionship. I had the same problem, but when I realized I was at peace with the person I was with I came to realize that I enjoy the same gender and am glad I let my mind rule and not stigma.
There is nothing wrong with experimenting, if you enjoy both male and female ther si nothing wron with being bi-sexual.
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