A
male
age
41-50,
*4yeahright
writes:I have been talking to a girl over the internet for years. I have always had a very big soft spot for her, and she has always had one for me. It has always been inevitable that we would meet at some stage. After talking over the mic a couple times recently, and after having been completely honest about how we feel, we have decided that we have to meet.She lives in Canada, and I live in New Zealand, but the distance is not the problem.Our circumstances do not permit for us to meet straight away, we are hoping to meet late 2009 or early 2010. This is fine, also not a problem.But I feel physically ill. It feels like the butterflies in the stomach feeling you get when you have to do a speech. Almost all the time.The feeling can go away when I talk to her for a while, and if I'm distracted. But for the most part the feeling is there.I am worrying myself sick. I love her as much as a person can love another person over the internet. I feel like she is my soul mate, and if she is being honest (which I believe she is), then she feels exactly the same way.How can I work on this nervousness?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2009): I am in the exact same situation, I met a guy who lives in another country and we are both just so in love, but cant meet up for a while.
I know how it feels... Maybe try talking to some family or friends about it, or try to focus more on your job or school. I find that talking to other people about the person I love can help me feel more calm. Although nothing compares to talking to the guy himself.
I guess we just have to learn patience. Go for a walk with your iPod turned up really loud, and just know that other people out there on the planet are feeling the same sickness. I'm sure it will all work out, you just have to have faith.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2009): Im sorry I cant really help you much other then tell you that I think I know how you feel.
When I was going to meet my online boyfriend in real life for the first time.. the week before he came I couldn't sleep. I'd wake up at 2am and go to sleep at 6am and wake up at 8am again and so on. I felt so sick I thought I was coming down with the flu. I ran to the bathroom in the middle of the night thinking I was about to throw up. I even had the bucket next to my bed and canceled appointments because I felt like throwing up constantly.
I literally had my head hanging over the toilet bowl for several nights. I've never been so nervous in my life.
It will pass though, thats all I can tell you. The second time we were to meet I was nervous, but not anywhere near the same as the first time, and I was purely happy and excited.
Best wishes to you!
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A
male
reader, 24yeahright +, writes (16 September 2009):
24yeahright is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYour positive words are very helpful. Thank you.But you must understand, I have this butterfly feeling ALL the time.It's going to kill me if I have to live with this feeling for more than a month.I'd be perfectly fine with it if tomorrow was the day, or if it was a week away. But at this stage we have no dates set in stone and I can't believe how nervous I feel all the time.I do need to talk with her MORE on the microphone/phone, and that is exactly what we have planned. So perhaps Nicoleta is right. It's just that she's presently in the process of moving from one city to another, and for tonight and possibly the next night she won't be available for chat on the interwebs.. she said she might call me though..UGH guys :) How can something so wonderful feel so terrible.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2009): hey dude youre not alone i just went through the same thing, seriously we talked over the net for 4/5 years via phone/msn/webcam etc and i fell in love and we met up and had awesome time but in the end things didnt workout because the distance was to much, but we did have fun during the times we met ! its real man and it happens, just be careful you dont get hurt! i suggest go meeting her soon very soon but only jump into a relationship with her if you or her are both sure that you will live in the same vecinity/city in the long run. Otherwise over time the distance will become to much and things will fall apart, it just happened to me Just take it slow man i know how you are felling right now, missing her.. stay positive mate. goodluck
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2009): I've been through the same thing. I met a girl online through the weirdest circumstances, and one day we decided to meet on impulse. I had never felt more nervewracking in my life, so I completely understand what you're going through. It was the first time I had met someone I knew online, in person. The only thing I can tell you is to just be yourself, and have confidence. This helped me extremely.By the way, the girl I met had met a few guys before me online. After she became my girlfriend, she confessed she was so so freaking nervous when we met. She said it was a completely different experience than all those other times. I wouldn't worry about it, because the girl you're going to meet probably feels nervous as well. Consider that when you're feeling these butterflies in your stomach, and when your tongue is feeling heavy the day you meet her!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2009): Use this nervousness in a wonderous way. For example, if you and her have not talked over the phone, ask her if she would like too. (If she says no, respect that and move on) Make a general plan on how to spend your time together when you meet, it helps by providing some structure to the situation to relive the nervousness.It's an exciting situation, and as it draws closer you may surprise her with a small gift when you first meet. It'll help ease the moment and make it a good memory.What you're feeling is normal, everyone has this nervousness even if the person is living in their own town. By using to the relationships advantage, you'll be better ready for the happy event!Best wishes!!
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