A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:OK, I dated this girl back in high school in 06. we got along great. We spent a lot of time together but it didn't work out. On and off. Main reason was because i was the quiet kind of person. Id rather hang out and spend time type. she was more of the party girl.this was her freshmen year, So i got cheated on a couple times. i ended it and moved on. hey its high school right?Well now in 09 I am in college almost done with my degree before i head for my BA. (concept art and design). we kept in touch over the years cuz she moved with her dad. (Her dad didn't take her shit :)we during the spring break we got together and spent some time together. we decided to hook back up and everything is going great. We took it to the next step and got engaged. we are planing to get married once we have both of our careers somewhat started.well 5 months down the road i asked her to stop talking to the people she use to. the ones she met down here cuz she moved back. Since she trys to stay friends with all her exes. and i dont like it since some of them hit on her or even tell her to leave me. It pisses me off that shes still friends with the guy she cheated on me with. and she keeps telling me how much of a good friend he is. I droped all my exes and shit.Now i feel that im out of line since i dont want to be the guy who dosnt let his woman have friends and crap. but hell its crap when most of her friends she slept with. I dont care how much a person changes she has that rep of being a wild girl and she dosnt get the point of they dont want to be just friends.
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male
reader, gaurav1jha  +, writes (19 September 2009):
 its not a wise thing to restrain her from talking to her friends.But as far as getting friendly with Ex is considered then diffrent people have diffrent point of view in this matter.
Some say, theres nothing wrong in being friendly with Ex. while Others say getting friendly with ex can take him/her to flash backs. such as the time which they've spent.
But if her ex says her to leave you but still she dosen't stops getting friendly with him then i think you both need to talk about that, with each other.
But if i would have been in your place i would have surely objected in meeting her with ex with whom she've cheated you. but personally I think "staying social with ex is okay as far as they are nothing more then aquaintance. but geting friendly with ex can only be looked upon positively after a disscussion between both of you."
I completly agree with rhythmandblues & deliawood that your GF doesn't sound mature enough to get married.
Both of you have diffrent definition of commitment, if you cannot accept like that then talk about it with her in this matter. and if you are'nt even 50% satisfied with her clarrification then just know that you both have diffrence in compatiblity.
Thus, reschedule your marriage and try to work it out. and make the bond more stronger.
Positive thought : Every relationship need to be work out :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2009): I think your girlfriend doesn't sound mature enough to be married. She should respect your feelings about hanging out with her exes or talking to them frequently.
I could see it if it had been years since she was with the person and both of them were in committed relationships and there was zero attraction, but I don't believe people in this age group ever have zero attraction for their exes.
I don't know why so many men and women want to stay friends with their exes, but I think most people who do this are narcissistic, and they like to have a harem or a stable of exes to fulfill their narcissistic supply for attention on their favorite person, themselves.
I don't think from the sounds of things you would be happy married to this person, she isn't cut from the same cloth as you are.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2009): You two are going to butt heads continuously in a relationship. She enjoys her friends and has one style of life. Yours is different. There is nothing wrong with that as long as you can accept the other person in "as is" condition.
You asked her to stop talking to her friends. Not wise, but it doesn't sound like you can handle it. I believe you have some differences in your morals, which would cause greater problems if you went into a permanent relationship.
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