A
female
age
30-35,
*ea-teo
writes:I have fallen in love with the ex of my friend. They were a pair 3 years ago and only for a short time. First she said that it’s ok if I meet him but now she wants to conclude our friendship if we get a pair. I don’t know what to do because both of them are very important for me. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, thor  +, writes (29 March 2007):
 ps.... i forgot to say. my friend introduced me to his ex gf, they remained friends after split. he spoke highly of me to her. i met her she gave me her msn address. we talked for a while telling each others problems. we arranged to meet and everything went from there. she told my friend about us, he was shocked but got over it after a while. we are still best buddies. i eventually married this girl. you can read the downside of it on my question. it failed and i could have lost my friend aswell as my wife.
A
male
reader, thor +, writes (28 March 2007):
if she is an ex it should be no problem, unless she cheated on him or hurt him in anyway. if it was his problem and no way of them getting back together go for it. talk to him and explain what you feel for his ex. if he gets angry or falls out with you it might not be for long if he realy values your friendship. just takes bit of time to mend but should be ok.
but also think about your self incase she was bad to him and you are next inline, make sure her feelings for you are strong, avoid talking about exes.
hope all works out for you. add more on how it goes
take care
thor
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A
female
reader, Angel_face  +, writes (28 March 2007):
ok first put your self in your friends position if u were going out with a guy ages ago and than ur friend starts going out with him you would obviously say that it didnt bother u but it prob would after all you are only human. in my opinion you shouldnt go out with your friends ex boyfriends it would just make things very uncomfortable for everyone envolved. plenty more guys out there friends are forever stick with your friend and leave this guy off best of luck
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A
female
reader, crystlay +, writes (28 March 2007):
I've been in a bit of a similar situation. Talk to your friend about how you feel and tell the truth because if you keep it from her and lie or twist the truth, she will be hurt even more. Also talk to her ex about how you feel and see if he feels the same about you before u do anything else. if ur friend isnt ok with u and him becoming a pair, just stay friends with him and as time passes u never know she might change her mind about the situation if she knows how much u like him. but be honest with her because losing a friend hurts, like i said i've been in a similar situation so I'm saying this from expeirence. but at the end of the day its ur decison and only u can decide what to do. but follow your heart and do what u think is right.
but what ever happens i wish u good luck and i hope i've helped.
xxx
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A
female
reader, Reebe +, writes (28 March 2007):
 Hello
Firstly I would sit your friend down and ask her why she has a problem with you seeing her ex, it ended a while ago but maybe there's some feelings still there?
If your friends reasons seem genuine to you then you will need to think who is more important to you, remember boyfriends come and go (usually) and your friends are there for life. If your friends doesn't give a reason ask her if she's just jealous. You may want to point out that you've been honest with her and took her feelings into account before doing anything. You need to talk to your friend first and then make a decison based on what she has told you and hopefully you can have the best of both worlds.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2007): You have got to be honest with your friend. If you aren't and end up going out with him (assuming that she is over him) and it ends up hurting her then you are putting your friendship with her at risk. Tell her that you have feelings for her ex and won't don't anything with him without her permission. If she doesn't like the thought of you going out with her ex move on, he's not worth losing your friend for. But if she gives you the green lights for the relationship and if he feels the same way (you can't force him into a relationship with one of his ex's friends) then you can both be together.
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