A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:My best friend got her first boyfriend 5 weeks ago. And, unfortunately in that d weeks I've fallen for him.... Not on purpose though! We've been best friend for 10 years but she always made me feel worthless, she treat me like a slave and talked behind my back. I had no other friend so put up with it. She moved to another school and in a week was asked out by 'fred' I shortly moved there too. Last week we went on holiday to london and stayed in a hotel with a double bed and a single bed. My friend 'lizzy' went in and refused to sleep in the double as the 'mattress was un comfy'so fred said "that's fine you get the good bed me and anna (me) will share" she agreed as long as nothing happend during the night he whisperd that she treat him horribly (which I already knew she treat him how she treat me) then he said he wished he'd met me first! I told him he loved 'lizzy' he replied 'no I love anna(me)' he kissed me and it was so good. He wants to leave 'lizzy' but doesn't want to hurt her by moving onto me instantly. I love him so much, what can we do?
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (8 September 2013):
 ... You're being taken for a ride. If he wanted you, he'd leave your friend and be with you. Really. Kissing you while STILL in a relationship is a clear sign that he doesn't respect you. Let alone "love" you. He barely knows you. He barely knows his "gf", I'm sorry but 5 weeks? They're just dating, nothing else, there's no LOVE here.
Look, either this girl is your friend or she isn't. If she isn't, then stop faking friendship while stealing her boyfriend. That just sucks. You're free to date Fred all you want, but you need to realize that you're being a bad friend by going behind your friends back and making out with her boyfriend while she's still in the same room. The way she treats you, or him, is NO excuse for YOUR behaviour. If you do not like the way she treats you you DEAL with it, not get back at her by having her boyfriend cheat on her with you. You're not better than her then, you treat her equally bad, if not worse. Has she ever kissed your boyfriend, made your boyfriend cheat on you with her? No? Then I'm sorry to inform you, but whatever she did to you, you just did ten times worse.
If you have any self respect, or respect for Fred, or respect for your friend, then stop this shady business. Get things out in the open. Tell your friend you are tired of the way she treats you, and then try to make new friends. Stay without friends for a while if that is what it means. Then date Fred, if he actually told you the truth and leaves her for you.
But honestly, I doubt that he will. If he was serious he'd end things with his girlfriend, not go away on vacation with her. In most cases, when a boy tells a girl the things Fred told you in bed, it just means this "I want to keep my girlfriend because I like her the most, but I want you on the side because you're nice too, and you look like you are willing to put out for me".
.... You're way better off without this Fred.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2013): Girl this is kinda ridiculous. I'm 17 as well, so you're getting a teenagers opinion here. You have no right to have kissed your friends boyfriend, no matter what. I think you're justifying it because you say your best friend treats you horribly- if that's true, then she's really not your best friend at all and you need to end that friendship which doesn't sound like much of a friendship if she "treats you like a slave" and "talks behind your back". Also, you don't love this guy and neither does your friend. She's been dating him for five weeks. You barely know this kid. He could just be using both you and her- like I said, you guys haven't known each other for very long. Before anything else happens between you and him, he and your friend need to break up.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (7 September 2013):
 I agree with iAmHereToHelpYou and Denise. You are living in la-la land if you think what YOU are doing is OK and if you think what "fred" is doing is OK.
You are being a sucky friend and just a LITTLE to naive to not see what game "fred" is playing.
Wake up and use some COMMON SENSE! You don't kiss a BEST friend's BF. You don't hit on him, you don't "fall" for him and if you DO fall for him, you SUCK it up and let it go.
IF she treats him SO horrible ha has the choice to break up with her.
And you.. NEED to learn a little self-control or you will end up in all kind of hot water.
You don't think if you go after your BEST friend's BF that YOU won't end up wit ha reputation? For being a BAD friend and untrustworthy?
I know you are enjoying him paying attention to you, but first of all HOW would you feel if you dated a guy and he hit on YOUR best friend? Kissed her? Bet you wouldn't feel so OK with that.
Secondly, how long do you think it will take if you DO start dating him before he takes a shine to another girl? and then another? And you are LEFT with no BEST friend and not BF, just a LABEL/BAD reputation.
Think.
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (7 September 2013):
 Now look here: why have you continued to be "best friends" (let alone even "friends" with Lizzy when she has always treated you so badly? That's my first question for you.
The second is, no matter how badly she treats you she was dating this Fred, and you had NO BUSINESS "falling for him" - don't say you couldn't help it, you CAN help it!
And even if you did daydream about him, you ought to have kept your distance from both of them - so why did you take a trip to London with them? As for sleeping in the same bed with Fred, well, very bad idea EVEN IF "nothing happened" except that Fred was trying to get it on with you, telling you he loves you, and so forth.
I'm sorry, but there was a lot of sheer nonsense going on with the three of you.
I couldn't agree more with iAmHereToHelpYou and the anonymous male poster. Fred was being dishonest in "approaching" you while he's still supposedly dating Lizzy. He was just hoping for some sex with you, that's all.
I know I'm being harsh - but I hope you can learn from this experience.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2013): He was saying that stuff because he wanted some nookie
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