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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I think I'm falling in love with my best friend, and I believe I may have messed up whatever chance I had with him.The thing is we've been friends for a really long time, since high school. It was couple of years ago when he confessed that he has feelings for me, though he's a sweet guy, the kind of men I usually go out with are the really confident, suave and muscular; besides I'm an adventurous girl. I told him this in the nicest way that I could and that I didn't want to jeopardize our friendship. He ended up being depressed for some time, eventually things went back to normal between us - in fact he'd even rate and recommend guys for me.That was about 2 and a half years ago. For some reason I've started seeing him in a different light, I don't know why, but I just can't stop thinking about him now! I've noticed (or maybe starting to appreciate) his sense of compassion, his honesty, his kindness, his shrewd level of intelligence and utter gentlemanly behaviour (not to mention good looking in a cute kind of way) - the thing is he was always like this and I'm kicking myself for not seeing it sooner .A couple of days ago I tried to bring up the idea of us dating in a casual and joking manner to see how he would react. I got the feeling he still had feelings for me but still felt hurt, he mentioned that he couldn't ever try and compete with the guys I've been with and doesn't even wanna try (I have to say here that him still being a virgin might have something to do with this).I don't know how I'd go about this, because I feel like melting and hiding away everytime he smiles at me. I don't want to lose him as a friend but I'd like something more too, and the more I'm around him the more feelings I have for him. I don't believe in soul mates, but he's looking more and more like it everday.
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best friend, depressed, soul mates, soulmate Reply to this Question
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male
reader, NotaJerk  +, writes (4 June 2009):
Honesty is always the best policy. Guys arent mind readers. So you need to come out and tell him what your thinking at the moment. This guy has probably given up on the exterior of trying to date you, but deep down probably still has a lot feelings for you(Hence him rating guys for you). If a confident guy is what you seek, tell him how you feel. Nothing boosts confidence more than knowing you are loved. He will probably be thrilled to know you want more from him. And if it doesnt work out that way i hardly doubt your friendship will suffer, seeing how he told you how he feels about you, and your friendship recovered. Hope it all works out for you .. Dont forget to Update
A
male
reader, Moviefan +, writes (4 June 2009):
 Ive been in a situation that was sort of like this, basically to be blunt you need to tell him that he doesn't have to live up to your ex boyfriends because your love him the way he is and wouldn't want him to change. That you were a fool and didn't realize what a great guy he was and that you feel really bad for past decisions with him. Ask him out this time around because odds are he isn't going to initiate anything if he has been rejected if he is like me, I don't hold a female style grudge but im not likely to try again after getting shot down. Odds are because of your sudden change of mind you just jumped ship on the immaturity dating train, lol, girls go through the phase of dating the good looking guys who are complete jerks most the time until the twenties sometime. Im still waiting on the woman around me to do that, sigh.........Just Do IT!!!!! Good Luck
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