A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I saw a post sort of like this. Im a 22 year old guy soon to be 23. My family gets foreign exchange students and we have for the last 2 years. This year we got 4 girls, one from spain, one from switzerland, one from korea, and one from france. They are all 15-16. they are all very beautiful and sweet. ANd I like them very much.I have come to the realization that I have a huge crush on the one from france, who is 15. I know That this is wrong of me but I really cant help it. I dont think of her in the sexual sense, Im just very attracted to her. I cant stop thinking about her and its making me miserable. I want to tell her so bad how I feel but if she doesnt feel the same way, I wouldnt want anything to change or become awkward. I would rather have her in my life a little than not at all. I want to be around her all the time but because of work and her school schedule and the fact that she lives in my house, means its really hard to get any alone time, and because they are always in their room. I get so jealous when there are other guys around because I wish I was them. THey all leave in 7 months and I will miss them all, especially for her. I get so sad when I think about them and her leaving. Im not stupid, I know that being the age I am I shouldnt feel this way. BUt for some reason, being with her is what I want. I would give anything to be with her the rest of the time she is here, but I am afraid that wont happen..The last thing I want is to make her uncomfortable but I love her so much.i just dont know what to do
View related questions:
crush, jealous Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2011): I agree with the other answers, it's very good you understand she is young and it may cause difficulties if it doesn't go the way you hope if you were to approach her about it, but the truth is, she's underage, she's from a foreign country, and she's living in your home as a guest. If you were to approach her and she didn't feel the same, the poor girl would feel very awkward in your home, your country, and would probably lead her to feel very homesick. How would she feel everytime she saw you across the hallway? How would she feel when she does hang out with other boys, would she feel the need to hide it from you or feel guilty about it if it were to hurt your feelings?Truth is, this is her trip and experience overseas, she's paying a lot of money, and you as the host family need to provide her with the best experience she can possibly have.I know this because I've hosted an exchange student before, I male from Austria my age, I didn't have feelings for him, but before he arrived I did talk with my Mum what I should do if I were to fall for him - luckily that did not happen, because after saying goodbye to my new brother, it was one of the hardest moments of my life. He lived apart of my family, went to school with me, and then one day heads back on a plane to the other side of the world and I will probably never see him again. It hurts! And it will hurt for you more having developed feelings for her, but in the other incident, if something did happen between the two of you, how would you both cope when she has to leave?You can't possibly continue on a long distant relationship from two sides of the world, not at your ages anyways. She would go back home, to her young teenage friends, and then still has years ahead of herself maturing up and finding out who she is, at the moment, she may be beautiful and fun, but she is still only a child.One other thing to consider, how does her culture treat relationships with older men? Perhaps it would be an idea to look into that, it may never have crossed her mind about the older boy she is sharing a home with because of your age alone. It's just some things to consider, I know it doesn't help, I want to just go ahead and say tell her how you feel, because you never know you could have an amazing last few months with her. But you need to be realistic about it. And it's not appropriate for you to make a move, due to several reasons.Goodluck though, maybe try and go out and meet some new people your own age or from your own country, might take your mind off her. :)
A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (25 October 2011):
 First thing, it is very good that you have an understanding of how young she is. It's not that you shouldn't feel this way it is that you shouldn't act on it. There is no reason you can't be her friend though and keep in touch with her. I mean there must be some instinct in you that makes you want to watch over them so they have a good time here on their stay.
You're never wrong for how you feel it is just up to you now whether you make a friendship with her and keep in touch or ruin it by going overboard with your feelings.
In all fairness you never know what may happen in the future. The age gap isn't completely out of range but at this time it is far too much.
...............................
|
