A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have always considered myself a straight female, but lately I have developed a somewhat innocent crush on another female friend. I have known her for a while through another friend of mine but we have recently become more friendly. She is very kind, sweet, funny, attractive; all those great things you look for in someone. Sometimes I get the sense that she has a crush on me as well. But I would never pursue this because she is in a serious committed relationship with another woman who also happens to be a friend of mine. I would never want to ruin anything between them. I know I will never act on this crush but it's very confusing. I have liked males my whole life and then suddenly I find myself extremely attracted to another woman.Is this normal or what? Should I be taking a second look at my sexuality or is this just a one time thing?
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female
reader, openmind +, writes (30 October 2009):
There is absolutely nothing wrong with what you are feeling and noting wrong with being gay, but for the most part i believe you have just met a woman whom you really like and admire and the fact that you know she likes women has allowed your mind to wander a little bit and just have your self a simple strait girl crush- i think you would like to be more like her rather than be with her if that makes sense. Let me know if you have more details you want to talk about or any other questions hope i have helped some
A
female
reader, hijacked_dignity +, writes (26 October 2009):
 To be honest, I think these feelings are completely normal. It's always tempting to wonder "what if" when it comes to very close friends, even when they are the same gender. Especially when that person is obviously attracted to the same sex and taken. It's something about the challenge mixed with the connection and finally the taboo of it all.
However I don't think it means that you need to take a second look at your sexuality. Just because you see that some women are attractive doesn't mean you are actually bisexual or a lesbian. I am perfectly straight and I find it easy to see that another woman is attractive. I even used to wonder what it would be like to have relations with female friends. But I never acted on them. To me, I knew it was just something that crossed my mind a few times. Like you, I had always been attracted to men and dated them. And it's not about your thoughts, but your actions that define your sexuality. At least, that's what I have always thought.
So in my mind, I think this just might be a one time thing. I think you're just really close to this girl, and the fact that she has a girlfriend has you wondering. :) All the best of luck!
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