A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've dated a guy for a week now and he is already saying he loves me. i don't know how anyone can love some one so quickly. im kinda freaking out, he wants me to say it back, but i don't know if i love him, or even want to keep on dating him. what should i do, how should i handle this without disappointing him. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (12 April 2008):
 A man can fall in love at first sight.
The moment he sets eyes on you , he can fall instantly in love with you.
His kind of love is not the same as the woman's kind of love
, but his love is like lusts or possessions.
You need to understand when a man says he loves you at first
sight when you don't even know if he existed or not.
You can tell him , you need more time to know him before you can say you love him.
He will understand. If he cannot , then goodbye to him.
A
female
reader, indie girl  +, writes (11 April 2008):
He's desperate, sorry. Don't feel like you have to say it back, you're not ready yet. Hope everything turns out okay (:
x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2008): He sounds a bit insecure. Don't tell him anything you don't mean, but if you really like him you could tell him that. Or give a list of things you like about him.
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A
female
reader, Cherriepie +, writes (11 April 2008):
 Im going to stand out here and go out on the limb here...but I do believe in love at first sight. I and in fact I do believe he can love you after only a week. Of course love doesnt always grow balanced for both parties....even if it starts a little later in the relationship. One person announces they love the other...and the other is not ready to go there yet...that happens all the time. That's just the way it is most of the time. My thing is give it a little time. Of course you are not obligated to say you love him....just let him know that, and that you just want to take it slower.
Your saying "you don't know if you love him." That's not the same as saying you hate his guts and he turns you off. You just need to move slower. DOnt break up with him so fast...give him notice that you just want to go slower....I'm sure he will comply. Give yourself time to get to know him more and see if more chemistry develops...Time is what you got, and I am sure he will give you more time.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2008): Sometimes too much love is scarry. U dont feel like u ready to please someone and forget about urself. Because a real commitment is a big sacrifice
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A
female
reader, Loah +, writes (11 April 2008):
 One week is not nearly enough time to establish true LOVE. The man is not in love with you, he is in LUST with you. No need to freak out, but here's what you can do. Dont kick him to the curb just yet, do some research on the guy. Is he saying it because he thinks it will make you happy? Find out what he thinks about "love". For example, what it means to him. Some people have no issues throwing around the word love. I love ice cream, i love shoes, etc. He may be one of those people. Someone who doesnt quite know how to express their feelings in other ways/words. Communicate. Other than that, good luck!
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (11 April 2008):
 Hi,
boy, this is a deal breaker huh? Yes it is way over the top. To me it sounds like a desperate soul looking for reassurance which is a worrying trait so early into dating.
I would advise you tread very carefully if you decide to continue seeing him. But if you really like him talk to him about it, be frank, tell him that you think falling in love is a very serious thing and not something that can happen in a week.
If you are not that keen, and the comment has tipped you over the edge, then the sooner you tell him the better, you don't want someone like this thinking there is still hope, as you might just find he gets a little obsessive with you.
good luck.
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A
female
reader, tennistar03 +, writes (11 April 2008):
I'm sorry your going through this.
I remember when my husband and I first started dating he would tell me he loved me right off the bat and i would respond that He didn't because he didnt know me enough. He finally told me that he meant the love as in not in love with me at the time as in he loved me a person and that he cared. Well long story short we're happily married.
but back to you. have you asked him what he means by he loves you?
i know it's hard to let a guy know that you may not even want to continue a relationship just be honest with him. Let him know... hey this love thing is too soon for me and to be honest is scaring me and let him know why it's freaking you out. Honesty even as brutal as it can be is the best thing to do in a situation like this especially if its only been a week. i have always been a firm believer to let your expectations be known at the very begining; to avoid wasting anyones time and emotions.
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A
male
reader, agtorange +, writes (11 April 2008):
 Well there's no way to handle it without disappointing him.
He's being totally unrealistic and should expect disappointment.
If he's saying he loves you already, after only a week, and is expecting you to say you love him back, maybe it's not a good idea to date someone like that, it doesn't seem like a far stretch to assume he'd be an overly obsessive boyfriend.
I'd suggestjust telling him straight, and talking it out, see how he reacts and start from there.
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