A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my first boyfriend for around 3 months now and feel like its a doomed relationship. I know that marriage can never be an option between us because of his jealousy (that is already showing) and our religious differences. I have been plagued by thoughts of an ex-crush for a little while now and can't seem to rid myself of a feeling that I should have been with him instead. I know its awful and I must be the worst person in the world for feeling this way. But my boyfriend was jealous of my semi-friendship from day 1. Now after seeing how jealous he is about the ex-crush, the old feelings have come to mind. Please don't get me wrong, I have never and would never cheat on him. That is completely not my intention.My questions are these:Why am I suddenly thinking of this old crush?Should the fact that I am a strong Christian (as is the old crush) and the fact that my boyfriend is an agnostic and doesn't care for Christianity at all make a difference?I'm sorry to bug everyone with these questions, but I can't go to my friends or family with this.
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male
reader, Fionnlagh  +, writes (19 December 2010):
 I think your past crush guy will always have a space for you in his heart, but you need to stop thinking about him and concentrate on your relationship with your current. You two are meant to be enjoying each other and making each other feel better together. But if you’re not even going to try and be open with your current bf and make an effort to change for the better of your relationship, then don’t blame your feelings on religion.You say you don't like your boyfriend being jealous, yet he is completely right because you are entertaining thoughts of another boy.I think people come into our lives (short-term and long) to teach us lessons about ourselves. Maybe you’ve learnt something, and you don't like what this means now? Stay honest and be kind.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2010): ~IT'S NOT WHAT IT IS, IT'S HOW IT'S HANDLED~Sweetie, like you, I too respect religion...AND...while religion can play a central role in determining whether or not a romantic relationship should exist between two individuals, I believe that the primary concern here is that you are not completely committed to your boyfriend, as you are entertaining thoughts of your old crush. Are you being honest with yourself here, with respect to the underlying thoughts of your crush which are prompting you to reduce slighten the commitment shared between your boyfriend and yourself? Could it be that the true underlying seducer is that of romance, a cardinal sin for entertaining such thoughts of another guy while committed to another? Are you in denial, as a result of guilt stemming from religion tenants? ~REALISM and RELIGION are EQUAL of RESPECT~
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2010): hey you're so sweet...all i can say is you shouldn't let your religous views get in the way, but if you're not into it then your not into it, does this old crush feel the same for you?
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