A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I'm 17 and I've been with my girlfriend for just over 2 and a half years now, and it was going mostly okay up until recently.Recently, I've not been feeling very happy, for several reasons. First of all, it feels like I'm completely separated from the people who I used to call my friends. This is mainly because, although my girlfriend doesn't mind me seeing friends, she doesn't let me talk to/look at/have anything to do with any girls. She is extremely insecure, and since my male friends have girlfriends who hang around with my male friends most of the time I'm not able to see my friends most of the time, and wouldn't really say I'm friends with them anymore. I spend all my time with my girlfriend, and I have little control over that.Over the last few days, I've been trying to let my girlfriend know how I feel, and I got to the stage where I said "I don't think it's working" etc. but I didn't quite break up with her when I realised I couldn't just throw it all away because I feel like I really love her. This has kind of happened twice, and both times she's had a panic attack getting really worried - it literally made her sick.My girlfriend is really nice, but our relationship was different when we started as I was 14/15 and I've matured a lot since then. It's impossible to tell her that what I said then was different to what I think now and I don't know what to do.Should I break up with her? If so, how should I do it? It's really hard considering how she reacted before, and when I realised I couldn't throw everything away I made it seem as if I wasn't unsure anymore - it would break her heart if I left her.Please help!
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female
reader, shazz1991xoxo +, writes (23 March 2012):
 Think long and carefully and make sure you really want to do this as there may be no going back, if u maybe want to try and make it work sit her down and explain to her that you love her more than anything and tell her to stop being so insecure because it may not work out, she does seem frightened, or if u really want to end it just explain that you are older now and yes people change xoxo good luck hunni
A
female
reader, Sinful_thinker89  +, writes (23 March 2012):
 Honesty there is never an easy way to break up with someone, best thing IA just to be honest with her. When you're in a relationship for so long you get comfortable with someone, that it seems impossible to live without. Don't waste your time or hers.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2012): be respectful. Do it face to face. Dont use ambiguous words like 'its not working' you need to say 'i want us to break up' you should break up with her at her house, not at yours/a friends/outside. So that she doesnt have to explain to your parents or anyone else who may see her, why she is crying
Breaking up is horrible for either party, 2 and half years is a long time, but you are young and we dont always marry our childhood sweethearts.
She is panicing because she is frightened. Just explain to her that you want to part amicably as friends and you believe it is the right thing for both of you. Maybe when you leave call her best friend and tell her she needs a shoulder to cry on, you may get a mouthful of abuse but at least you know that she will be okay. I hope this goes ok for you x
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2012): Part of becoming a mature man is learning to honestly break it off with a woman.
Just do it. There is no easy way (Or, there is no way that is easy AND respectable).
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