A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone.On Wednesday i got with a guy at a halloween party and (drunkenly) let him finger me. I don't usually act like this but i liked the guy and to be honest was a bit drunk.The next day he invited me to a party last night where we got with each other again, and did the same thing.This guy acts like a player but i don't think he really is, he seems really sweet and kinda romantic when he lets his guard down.I know i've let myself be too easy uptil now, but he seemed interested in getting to know me more. Is it time to use the 'hard to get method'? or just quit games and act as i feel is right at the time?How easy is too easy, in a mans eyes?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (14 December 2012):
 Dear OP,
I'm probably older than your mother and my "sex days" as you call it are so far from over it's not funny.
As for "it's what we do at parties" it's what YOU do at parties. It's not what everyone does at parties. I admit to going to parties where way more than that went on. It got old quick and I tended to not recognize folks with their clothes on in public....
I'm glad it worked out for you. Don't think when this relationship is over that every boy you meet and let have his pleasure with you and for you will be so kind and want to have a relationship with you. There are many men out there that will find a woman who has had multiple sexual partners and experiences as well as girls that are "easy" unacceptable as long term partners.
choose your activities carefully and best of luck to you
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell, thanks all but me and this guy are now in a relationship. I took your advice and we've been on 6 dates where we did little more that kiss, and he is interested. He's actually a lovely guy and we had a deep chat about how i felt about this, and he was really impressive.
Ha, a 17 year old mother though. Please.
I'm a virgin and intend to stay that way until i'm ready.
I 'let' him do that because i wanted him to- its for my enjoyment too.
I'm a very capable girl- i'm currently preparing for myh application to oxford to study the english lit and lang course and hope to become a teacher in the future. There's no need to be patronising just because your sex days are over.
Cheers, though.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2012): Well, I'm 21 and no, that is not "what we do" at parties. Don't really know which kind of parties you've been going to, but I'm pretty sure he considers you easy...maybe next time you see him, don't do anything with him and see if he keeps texting you. If he does, it's because he's interested in more than what you've been giving him. Good luck!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2012): "How easy is too easy, in a mans eyes?"
When a girl "lets" a guy do anything he didn't "ask" to do in advance.
When a girl "lets" a guy do anything when she's "a bit" drunk.
When a girl denies that what she's already "let" a guy do something that he didn't "ask" in advance because she was drunk can be considered "too easy."
For future reference: In a year from now, when you're a seventeen-year-old new mother stuck with a screeching newborn kid that you are completely incapable of raising and supporting by yourself, and you don't have a clue who's the daddy because he could be one of several anonymous guys who could have possibly knocked you up but you don't remember any of them because you don't remember "letting" any of them them take turns fucking you at a party even though they didn't "ask" because you were "a bit" drunk, then you will definitely be considered "too easy" and it will definitely be too late to play "hard to get."
I hope you find this answer more "helpful" than Sageoldguy's, even though my views are admittedly equally "old fashioned."
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (4 November 2012):
 OP: Thanks for the update. I didn't know that morals had hit "rock bottom"..... Good luck.....
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (4 November 2012):
OP: Thanks for the update. I didn't know that morals had hit "rock bottom"..... Good luck.....
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A
male
reader, human_male  +, writes (4 November 2012):
 I don't think it's a case of playing hard to get. That's just stupid mind games. I think this is more a case of making sensible and mature decisions and not getting drunk and doing something you'll regret later. If you like this guy and want something more with him then slow down a bit. Tell him that you'd like to take things more slowly and get to know each other. If loses interest then he wasn't interested in anything more from the beginning. He was just getting off with you.
Giving it up to guys won't make them like you. If a guy wants to finger you or whatever doesn't necessarily mean he likes you and wants more. Showing he has respect for you and your feelings and wants to take his time and get to know you DOES.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThats really not a helpful answer Sagedoldguy- i think your views are a bit old fashioned.
I'm 16 and its what we do at partys, though it is my first time and now i'm texting this guy and he actually seems to like me.
Thanks to the anon answerer though, great advice thanks!
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (4 November 2012):
When a guy meets a girl, for the first time, at some party... and fingers her that same night.... SHE IS "TOO EASY!!!!"
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2012): You might be able to make "hard to get" work this time because you didn't go so far as to sleep with him yet.
But you should understand that you normally cannot make "hard to get" work once you have already been too easy. Most guys will only want to work hard for something they haven't had yet, not for something they already once got for nothing.
The same goes for other guys too. You can't give it away easily to one guy and then expect some other guy to work hard for it afterwards. Not when the second guy already knows how much more easily the first guy got it.
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