A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello there everyone i could use some advice.Ive been talking online with this woman she is 30 years old. We have been talking for about a month or so and do not live far away from each other. I have talked to her on webcam so i know she is who she says she is. She says she likes and and would love to go out with me. I think i like her too but i am scared. Ive been in a abusive relationship before. So i think its just nerves. But is it alright to be with her its legal and everything.Confused boy ineed of some advice.Thanks in advance Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAlso i think she is extreamely attractive ive never liked anyone as old as her before true but i would sleep with her but idk there is like a barrier a block stoping me.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionBut then how do i stop feeling this way i feel like i have know her my whole life this is more than i crush i cant just stop talking to her she is a big part of my life.
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A
female
reader, RedAthena  +, writes (31 August 2011):
 My son in nearly 18. He barely has the skills to have a relationship with someone his own age.
Dating a woman 30 years old, even if legal, will have nothing but complications for you. Please think it through before you get any more involved.
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (31 August 2011):
 "I want someone there for me when i need them someone i can talk to understands me . And she said she would be that person."
You want a mother figure, not a romantic liason with this woman.
I am 28, and there is NO WAY on earth that I would ever be interested in an 18 year old. Sorry, but you are just to immature at the moment.
I susepect her biological clock is beginning to tick and she is looking for someone to get her pregnant. Sadly there are many women out there who will trick guys into impregnating them just to have a baby.
Right now, you are an inexperienced, naive, teenager, who is far too trusting. She has groomed you online, telling you what you want to hear, and how she will be there for you and look after you.
You have fallen for it. You think you love someone you have never met.
It only takes one time and you could be a Dad. At 18, and then she slaps you with paying child maintainance.
She gets what she wants, you are left alone, paying for a child you didnt want.
You want company in your flat? Make some friends, invite them round. Get a job, get a bigger place and have a flat mate. Or find a girlfriend of your own age.
If you meet this woman, you could ruin the rest of your life. It is upto you, but now is the time to start acting like a grown up, not a love sick teenager.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (31 August 2011):
 I agree.. make her a friend ONLY not a romantic liaison. and only meet her in a public place.
make sure someone in authority knows where you are going and when... and that she knows this
hopefully she needs to mother someone and you will fit that bill cause it sounds like you need a mom more than a lover.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have this compultion to talk to her and i get so happy when we speak. I never knew my father i live alone in council accomidation, i have. So for a year now. I want someone there for me when i need them someone i can talk to understands me . And she said she would be that person.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (31 August 2011):
OK 18 is legal but tell me if you've never met her why do you think you love her?
what do you two like to do that you have in common?
what do you expect from this relationship?
and again what do your parents say about this relationship?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI dont think she is bad and in england its legal. Im 18 in a few days. I just i think that i love her. Im confused.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (31 August 2011):
I am 13 years older than my boyfriend... when he was 16 I was 29/30 THERE is no way at that age I would be interested in a boy of 16....
age gaps are fine when folks are older but that's a huge gap at your age and a woman of 30 should NOT be interested in a young man of 16/17... no matter what...
Women can be predators. Women can be serial killers and pedophiles...
what do you think your mum would say?
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A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (30 August 2011):
No it is not legal. A 30 yo woman showing interest in a teenager is not normal-It is pedophelia.
If you are scared-that is probably your inner warning system telling you loud and clear to stay away from this situation!
Listen to your instincts.
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A
male
reader, ryukage +, writes (30 August 2011):
 Forget this person,you're just a boy that she play around with until someone else comes along.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2011): 1st to begin with she's like 14 yrs older than u.i know ppl like to say age is just a number and stuff like that but count it
14 yrs!
you might be thinking everything is normal because u talked on webcam and she is who she says she is but that doesnt make the situation normal.this woman can very well be one of those internet predators lookin for a naive young person to pray on.while people who are 21 are dating 30 and 40 something yr olds they are grown men/women who can make these decisions for themselves.ur age bracket is 16/17 u should be looking for someone ur own age to have fun with and have all ur experiences together.
its ur decision but my advice would be to cut all connections with this lady
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A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (30 August 2011):
 Your age says 16-17 so no it is not actually legal unless you are 18. I say don't go for it. She can promise so much to you and things can go really bad really fast. You need to find someone closer to your own age, you two are pretty much in two different worlds.
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A
male
reader, soon567 +, writes (30 August 2011):
I work with a 21 year old guy. He's very goodlooking and im not gay, but you got to give it to the dude on that. His sister could be models. He can stand that my girl is much younger than me, yet he dates women twice his age. Im not sure if its a phase for him but they seems happy. I think the oldest one he told me he date was 50 when he was 20.
The reason im telling you this is coz when it comes down to it. Its you that needs to be with people that makes you comfortable. For him, he told me it less drama to be with an older woman then women his age. Now for you, it could just be something different. I cant advice you to go out with her, but if it doesnt hurt either of you than why not.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2011): I don't think this is a good idea. Women can be preditors, too.
Also, I think women who are chasing after teenagers have some very deep issue that may not be obvious on the surface. I don't trust this would be healthy or safe for you or her, actually.
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