A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am 40 and married. I am seriously in love with my sister in law who is 22 unmarried. I have been sending anonymous love emails to her and finally got a positive reply. Should I reveal my real identity and come out in front of her as myself.....I fear this may end up fairly bad for my married life. Take me seriously...
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2007): A wise old man.
Bury your feelings deep inside, my friend. Your dilema is self created, in your own mind.
Run away very fast.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2007): Your flirting with disaster. Is this something you would tell your wife? If not then back off. I have had a situation years ago when my wife asked me if I liked her sister. I was too nieve and didn't take it as a sexual thing. A few years later I found my wife's sister was sexually attracted to me. I told my wife and she said that her sis has wanted to have sex with me for years, you turned her down and didn't even know it. I asked my wife how she would have felt if I did have sex with her sister. My wife told me that if I wanted to have sex with her sis, it was ok with her after all she said she had sex with her sister's husband before I came into her life. I was shocked. Now every time I see her sister, I want to ask her for sex. I am in total lust with her. I do plan to try now that I caught my wife cheating with a coworker of hers. Never in my life would I have cheated or would be willing to take a chance on my marriage by having sex outside my marriage until I saw that my wife had her own thoughts on sex on the side. Oh, BTW, my mother in law knew all about my wife's affairs and her other daughters ideas of having sex with me. She is OK with me screwing both of her daughters. I married into a bunch of sexual pervs. Wish me luck, I'm going for it.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2007): So you think you are in love with your sister-in-law..? Let me tell you from experience what you are in for my friend. About 22 years ago I fell deeply in love with my sister in law. I loved her then and I must confess, I still love her more than my own life. At the time I was so foolish that nothing else mattered. I told my wife.., I told my sister in law and everyone else in the entire family. My wifes family is very large. She has 8 brothers and sisters. I had (at that time) been married for 32 years, but I had loved her sister for such a long time. I always felt that she loved me too, but my love for my family was extremely important to me. After I told everyone, I found that most were somehow aware of the fact that I had always had deep feelings for her. But they have never been a close as before. The other sisters will avaoid me when I am around and their husbands don't have any trust in me. Life has certainly been much more lonely than before. I guess you might say that I have become an outcast. I still love all of my wife's relatives. My sister in law has admitted to me that she has loved me for as long as I have loved her. By the way, she is devorsed and has been long before the truth came out.
Several yeaqrs ago, she asked my wife if she could come to live with us because she isn't that well, and cannot work any longer. She is still a beautiful woman, and I still love her very much. My wife is also ill and doesn't get around very well. My sister in law does most of the house work, cooks and cares for my wife. I am still a healthy man and have strong sexual urges. My wife suffers from arthritis and cannot have a sexual relationship. My sister in law has not been on a date nor has she had a sexual encounter since she came to live with us (five years). I did ask her a year or so ago that if my wife needed to go to a nursing home in the future..., would she still stay with me..? She said that even though she loved me.., she could not stay with me for fear that she would bring further shame on both of us.
So, my friend.., shoose your actions and your words carefully.., they may be best left unsaid and not acted upon. Enjoy your sister in law from a distance and in your quite time.., dream of what might have been, but treasure what you have.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2007): Look don't lose your wife over this.....she's young and her sister!! Trust me she will tell the moment she finds out its you..don't lose your wife and you life over this. Its not worth it. Be a faithful man and stay away from her she's old enough to be your child!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2007): You cannot be serious, how can you live with yourself. Once you are exposed then that is it. You can forget about your marriage, it will be ruined. An who is to say that she will want you. She might of replied, but remember, she doesnt know at this stage who you are. I think you are acting disgracefully. If you place with fire then you will have to be prepared to get burned.
take care
xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2007): Wow. You are very very selfish.
Tell your wife you no longer are interested (as you clearly aren't), tell your wife that you like her sister in a sexual way and let her decide whether she wants to be with someone like you.
I can guarantee that the 22 year old sister won't want anything to do with you once the truth comes out.
But your wife deserves to know the truth so she can decide if she wants to be with you anymore.
Most women wouldn't.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2007): Don't they call this stalking? I'd tread carefully otherwise you'll end up in a prison cell when she finds out - and you can always be traced. Just stop doing it.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (3 October 2007):
 You are behaving despicably. If you don't stop this nonsense you are going to end up a very, very lonely man.
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A
female
reader, Fairy_Lu  +, writes (3 October 2007):
 Your willing to ruin your marriage over you 22 year old sister in law? Wow you live in a world of fantasy if you think that she will want you like you want her she is 22 she wont be looking for marriage or sex with a 40 year old especially her sisters husband! If you dont love your wife tell your wife and move on, dont harass her sister, and the bad thing about emails is you will get found out. So i would stop the emails she most likely things your a complete phycho i know i would, stop lusting after your sister in law and either concentrate on your wife or leave her and move on away from her entire family.
I dont meant to sound so harsh but i couldnt say that nicely
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2007): What were you thinking when you started this. There is no way you will end up with either of them if you reveal yourself. Your wifes sister will also feel very guilty even though none of this is down to her.
If you no longer love your wife, then leave her but I think you should stay well clear of her sister too.
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A
female
reader, Enzian  +, writes (3 October 2007):
 Hi there
What about your wife? Do you still love her? What about your children (if you have some)? Do you feel somehow left out or what is the reason you are looking for an other women? How do you know you are seriously in love with your wifes sitster? How do you define love? And how do you know if this can turn to real love? How do you know you will still be in love with your wifes sister in five years?
You can compare love with driving in a sport car. You have a new car (thats when you are falling in love with someone) and you drive on a road very fast. On the back of your car there is a very nice cloud of dust (your feelings) dispersed from the road. You are having lots of fun and very much enjoy this cloud of dust. But then there suddenly you see a cloud on the sky and it starts to rain. The cloud of dust disappears. Now you can make your decision: You can stopp your car and buy a new one (leave your partner and go with someone else) or you can drive on (stay with your partner) and hope that the rain will stop and the road will dry and the cloud of dust will dispersed from the road again. But if you change the car, you can be sure that also in the new car one day it will rain.
I try to explane you what I learnt about falling in love and real love. Falling in love just happens to you. You can't really controll it yourselfe. It is like beeing on drugs. The hormones in your body tell you what to do and are reigning your feelings. You can compare it with beeing drunk. The alcohol in your body makes you happy and you can forget your problems.
Real, deep, solid love is different. It is the decision to want the best for someone and to make this person happy. The feelings are different to the feelings of falling in love, and you don't allways feel anything. But the cheerful feelings will come back again. This is not the case with falling in love. This feelings you will only have a few month ore years, but they will not come back in the same form.
Sex has little relation to real, deep, solid love. If it is just about sex for having. Would it be worth to have some fun with someone else and maby get into big troubles?
You are married. You confessed to your wife and you promised to be faithfull to her. This is not something you can just throw away whenever you want! Also this is your wifes sister. She probably wouldn't give you a positive reply if she would know who you are! So stopp fo care about her and stop write e-mails etc to her! Concentrate on your wife, youreself and your marriage! Life is not just having fun for yourself and only do what you want to do and what seems to be best for you but not nice for others. To marry a women brings a lot of responsibility with it. Think about it what you really want and what is best for all of you not just sees to be allright for yourself.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2007): Definitely not! You are concerned only about your needs. You are not just going to ruin a marriage but the relationship between this girl and her sister in the improbable event that she accepts you. And anyway, What makes you think the'll like you back?
How shallow are you! Falling for a much younger girl to forget about your responsibilities with your wife. If you are seriously in love with this girl is because you wanted that to happen and started fantasizing with her a long time ago. In my eyes you are already an adulterer.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2007): Your fears are well-founded!
Assuming she is your wife's sister, the likely outcome is that she will tell your wife and then the sparks will fly!
Knock this on the head before it gets out of control - unless you enjoy pain.
Phil
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