A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi people. Just need some straight forward advice,ill give you some background,I am a single mother out of a messy relationship about 2 years ago. Ive come to the time now,where I feel I can move on. Ive been seeing a man who was my friend before we even considered dating. So here we are, we have been dating now for 6-7 weeks, weve been intimate and goin good, up until monday when he told me he cant continue on with this relationship.he told me we can be friends, he still admires me but cant be with me. I dont know how to feel because like a fool I have fallen in love,and of course I feel like ive maybe displayed too much affection and scared him off? Please help, is there any tips that any1 could offer me for maybe opening up to him without leaving myself open to more hurt. Should I tell him I really have feelings for him, im not sure I can just be a friend. I feel devastated.
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female
reader, Caring Aunty A +, writes (22 June 2013):
 I think what may have happened here is this guy friend had a male curiosity of wanting sex with you… Once his fantasy was realised he reverted back to being friends.I had something similar near happen to me when a male friend came on to me after a break-up… (I told him to bugger off) But I was thankful for the insight he provided about his and or a males thinking when it came to their lady friends. It also could be just a theory; that they’re fantasising about us!? LOL… what a consolation prize? And it’s not until there’s a window of opportunity; you having broken up with a partner, then they’re in like Flynn or at least trying.Perhaps your friend was caught up in the mystery of you sexually or he simply realised other obstacles… Anyway after 6-7 weeks it seems a bit rushed for sex to happen even if you thought you knew him beforehand?As it stands there’s no need to pursue more heartache, he has said his piece and back peddled wanting out. I wouldn’t extend him my vulnerable feelings and I’d make sure to tread more slowly next time.Take Care – CAA
A
female
reader, VioletMoon  +, writes (21 June 2013):
Your mistake was having sex *before* knowing what it meant to him. In the future you need to be clear with the man under what conditions you will have sex with him.
Sex caused you to feel emotionally attached and you were living in a somewhat fantasy land as you had no idea how he really fet about you and what he wanted to happen with you.
You need to take personal responsibility for not protecting your heart.
I would not contact him unless you need it for closure. He has made it clear that he is not interested in pursuing a relationship with you. If you contact with fantasies about him coming back to you, it will only cause yourself more pain.
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A
female
reader, Dear Mandy  +, writes (21 June 2013):
 HI
Firstly I'm so sorry he had ended it in this way, I can sympathise with you with this situation.
I don't think it would be wise to confess all your feelings to him now as he has made it clear he no longer wants that kind of intimacy with you. He is a coward for treating you this way and using you whilst your heart and soul was weak. Sometimes you have to express how you feel or you go nuts so don't feel bad for showing to much affection, he obviously did not feel what you were feeling at that time and should have been straight from the start instead of making you feel what you did only to throw it back at you. There WILL be a man out there for you who WILL know your worth and treat you like a queen, so don't give up on love because a BOY played you not a MAN. So chin up Girl and move forward, stay strong and show him that yes you may have wanted him but you don't NEED him.
Mandy x
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