A
female
age
41-50,
*ond_girl007
writes: I've been seeing a guy for about a year now. He has no sex drive whatsoever. We've had sex a few times that's it. He likes to kiss me and that's where it stops. Is there anything I can do?
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female
reader, TangledWeb +, writes (14 August 2007):
Listen.
If he does not want to get help and things don't get better, get out of the relationship. When I met my husband he had a low sex drive. Turned out he had erection problems and so he preferred porn over having sex with me. I did EVERYTHING I could think of to try to spice things up and make it exciting for him but it just never got better and it was never enough. I'd initiate and sometimes even beg for sex, he'd turn me down and then I would wake up to him masturbating to porn.
I loved him and looked passed it. Big mistake. Our marriage continued with me still desperately trying to get him to have sex with me. We did finally and I got pregnant. I then stayed because of the baby. Over time I started taking it personally and began to get bitter. Sex is not the most important thing but it is VERY important. I felt so rejected over time that I had an affair. I now regret having an affair and wish I could take it back. I was young and I should have just gotten out of the marriage. Be careful and don't make excuses just because you love him. It does have it long term negative affects on a relationship.
A
female
reader, hugs4u002 +, writes (14 August 2007):
There is another possibility, although a very debated one, does he look at a lot of porn? I am in a relationship with a man for 3 years now who has an addiction to porn. He loves me very much, he is kind and touchy feely in public, but at home he keeps the kissing platonic.
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A
female
reader, mum2be +, writes (14 August 2007):
drop little sexy hints around the house... dress up a bit more revealingly and pinch his bum as he wealks past... he should soon get the message
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2007): Ask him if he's even been to a doctor about his low sex drive, and if he hasn't then he should. He may have abnormally low testosterone which can be corrected. Sometimes a low sex drive can be an indicator of a more serious health problem.
Is he overweight, does he smoke, or is he depressed? All of these things can lower a persons sex drive.
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (13 August 2007):
You need to talk to him and get him to try and open up to you, see if there is a reason for this.
There may be something worrying him, but if you are not happy with it you need to get to the bottom of it.
You need to try and find out what the problem is before you can decide what to do about it.
Take care.xx.
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