A
female
age
36-40,
*randie19
writes:I've been involved with a married man for over a year, he says he's gonna leave, I just need to be patient. I love him with everything in me and can't stand the thought of being without him, but I'm so tired of being alone. Am I being too impatient? What do I do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2007): It's not worth it. I just recently found out that the man I was involved with for 4 years was married and I didn't even know until his wife told me. He has the key to my home and he was involved in my daughter's life. Now he denies knowing either of us.
A
female
reader, brandie19 +, writes (19 August 2007):
brandie19 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you so much for the answers they were much appreciated, and just like you guys said he didnt leave, and i finally realize that i deserve better, it hurts to not have him but its worth it in the long run
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A
male
reader, Dr.love +, writes (14 August 2007):
Well first of all he is being dishonest to you and his wife. This, you should be very concerned about. You must think about what else is he "lying about?" Honesty is most important. I know it would hurt but you should let him go. Liars cant be trusted. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (13 August 2007):
 This guy isnt going to leave his wife. If he was going to, he would of done it by now. Be patient is just another word for string you along.
I dated a married guy (years ago i hasten to add!) and he didnt even tell me he was going to leave her, he just did it. Not that i wanted him to, i was young, just wanted a bit of fun at the time (yes all wrong but like i say it was years ago)and he went back anyway.
And if hes telling you hes not sleeping with her now, dont fall for that one either.
The majority of married people DONT leave their partners, only about 1% do.
You're going on a rocky ride & you know that deep down dont you.
I hope you find some inner strength to move on soon & find someone that can give you what any normal person needs.
Real love.
All the best. Hope you'll be ok.
C xxxxx
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A
male
reader, DJ8433 +, writes (13 August 2007):
 I think you've come to the right place to ask experienced people their opinion. I think you should leave him. Why? Some really basic problems with what you are wanting to do. Brandie, relationships are based on trust. You're boyfriend has proven that he is not trustworthy. How can you trust that he won't do the same thing to you, even if you are together. How will you ever be able to trust him when he goes out and says he's going to the Home Depot, but he ends up another woman's apartment. How can you trust that he's not a;ready sleeping with someone else. Well, you know he is at least sleeping with one other person....his wife. Why do you want to cheat yourself out of a life of possible happiness with someone you can't trust. Leave him and find someone without baggage. There's plenty of young men out there, plenty, 150 million in the U.S. You can find someone your own age who hasn't any skeletons in their closet. For your own sake, leave him. If you can't just yet, certainly do not marry him. Go out with other men. Live life, have fun.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2007): What do you do? Look, he is MARRIED, you know? He belongs to another woman.
If he is involved with you, he and you are committing adultery. Moreover, if he's been telling you for over a year that's he is going to leave, and you just need to be patient, then guess what? He's not going to leave her. Not a chance. He has his wife, he has you, why would he want to go through the mess of divorce?
If you are wise, you'll wake up and smell the coffee, ditch him and eventually try to meet a single man. There's no hope, and no future in continuing on as you are.
Sorry.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2007): For over a year? I'm sorry honey, but most of the time married men don't leave... I hope it's not the case, but if you've been together for over a year and he hasn't left yet, maybe you should ask him directly why he's taking so long...
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