A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hey guys.so I'm 18 and have liked the same guy since I was 13 lets call him Tim. when I was 15 I moved to a new town and since then we have mainly talked by text messages and msn but have grown closer non the less. I have tried to have other relationships but he has always been there in my heart. dont get me wrong, I did love the guys I went out with but I loved Tim more. I have told Tim that I like him a few times and he has said on some occasions that he likes me too but I cant tell if he ever intends to try and have a relationship with me. he keeps telling me that I'm the only person he truely respects and trusts. I have tried cutting him out of my life but i miss him more than i have ever missed another person in my life. I thought that over time, i would get used to not having him as part of my life but it didnt get easier. everytime something happened in my life, I got out my phone and went to text him then remembered that i had decided I wouldnt talk to him again. the longest I managed without talking to him was 3 months but I thought about him every day and yearned for the conversations we would have and the advice he so often gave me. over the years, there have been so many times when I have been certain that he feels the same way about me, then other times I think I got all the signals wrong. I dont want anyone to take this next part the wrong way cause he is not a sleazy guy or anything. recently he was telling me how a lot of his friends keep paying him out about being a virgin and that he was really sick of it. at one point in the convo, he asked me if I could take his virginity so they would leave him alone. I know that sounds like he is using me but he is not like that. I know him better than I even know myself. he did not mean to be disrespectful or anything. he said it as a joke but I get the feeling that he was hopeing I would agree. not just to get the guys off his back but cause he really wanted to with me. after the 3 months that we wernt talking, we had a conversation that went a bit like this: Tim: when we stopped talking, all my friends thought we had broken up or something. me: lolTim: did we?me: we wernt going out.Tim: trueme: lolTim: dammso many things make me think that he really does like me but he has never really acted on it no matter how obvious I make it that I like him. even when I say it straight out.I need someone to tell me what to do. When we talk, it feels like we are already in a relationship. He is my best friend and always will be. I just hope that one day we will be more than that as well.I really need some advice. I have been in limbo for 5 years now and cant stand it anymore. he keeps telling me he wants to come and visit me, and is being really persistent about it. he has never visited me before, nore given any indication that he wanted to.he has never had a relationship with anyone before but he is a really romantic guy and a true gentleman.whenever I was in a relationship with someone else and tim and I talked, It always felt like he was being careful. he would flirt with me more than usual but would keep reminding me that I had a boyfriend and hat he shouldnt flirt with me.Please help me. i need to know how to handle this situation. It as been a contributor to my becoming depressed but he has also held me back from doing anything stupid. I just cant stay in limbo for much longer. i love him more than anything and I know that he is the one for me. everyone thinks we are going out even if we dont admit it ourselves. even my mum thinks im going out with him. everytime she sees me texting someone, she askes who im talking to and whenever I say Tim, she gives me this knowing look...any advice will be very much appreciated. or if you are/ have been in a similar situation, Id love to hear from you about your situation and what you have tried and if it worked. thanks guys,S.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhey guys, thanks for the advice. I really want to bring it up with him but dont know how. Should I wait till he comes and visits? I'm pretty shy so I dont know if id be able to pluck up the courage to ask him in person but I think if I bring it up during a conversation or something, he wont take me seriously. it'll be just like every other time. another thing i forgot to mention- when we had that convo about his friends thinking we were going out, he also asked me if I thought we would ever have worked out anyway. does this mean that he did like me but now just thinks of me as a friend? lol
I hate guys. I wish they'd just say exactly what they mean lol.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2010): Wow ur story reminds me of the relationship I had with my girlfriend lol. She left me a month ago. I met her online when she was 13 and I was 17. The age and difference played a factor but there was an instint connection, we fell in love like no other. I had 3 other girlfriends non long distance before her but only she made me feel truly loved. Many times she felt trapped with me because she felt like she wanted to date other guys there too but somehow I would always get to her and even if she were to say yes to some guy she'd change her mind, talk to me that whole week she went out with the other guy and then come back to me. She now left me a month ago, we haven't spoken in 2 weeks now. She left cause she felt unready for marriage and didn't want the commitment.There were a few other things too but mainly that. She told me she still loves me last time I talked to her.I say if u truly feel this way about him, give him a shot. I know he can be the one for u. I know I want my girl back more than anything, we wanted to get married and all that. Do u think perhaps she could be thinking of me as u are with Tim? Good luck and at least give him a shot, if u feel this way u could be throwing something amazing away if u don't. Wish me luck too.
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A
female
reader, advice angel  +, writes (5 April 2010):
 i think he does like you,when yu said you's whern't even going out and he said damn,that comes across to me as if to say,i'd love to go out with you,but dont know how to ask,many boys are shy when it comes to relationship any you said he never really brings it up,and your right about him losing his virginty to you,its got a good chance of meaning he would love for that to happen,any more news just email me x
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (5 April 2010):
 Why not you propose marriage to him and see how he answers?
It is better to know where you stand with him now than to wait forever.If you wait ,that day may never come.
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A
female
reader, Tasmanian devil +, writes (5 April 2010):
 I think you should tell him straight but this time make it clear your 100% serious and you want it to go somewhere, until you do those, you'll still be in limbo
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