A
female
age
30-35,
*pendy
writes:Why do I feel this way? is it normal? did it happen to you too?I have no interest in guys or relationships. My ex really hurt me. He cheated, lied and dumped me and asked to remain friends and of course I said no.It seems like everyone around me is looking for the one. The good guys are getting treated like shit by other females and the good girls are getting treated badly by horrible guys.I'm a nice girl, I'm cheerful, loving, friendly, loyal, big heart. Everywhere I go I makes friends easily.I don't like falling for the wrong guys and getting my heart broken but it seems like the story of my life. They all act so sweet at the beginning and ends up @ssholes. I'm not an easy girl I have morals.The way love and relationships are going I want to be alone. So scared of getting attach believing we have something real and find out it was all lies would just kill me.My heart just can't take another hurt. So I'd do whatever possible to guide it even if is been alone for good.I'm 22..x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2012): I know the feeling, i was deeply hurt by my ex and I couldnt trust anyone for a long time I had certain expectations after my ex and I had no interest in love at all i just didnt believe in it anymore. However, I have learned that it is nice to go on dates and if you like someone to just date and not think too much about it. After 2 years I have found someone i want to be with, at first I really thought ohh I dont think i should go out with him but my friends said dont take it seriously just take each day as it comes and get to know him before making any commitment, i did that and realised that it wasnt fake and hes the sweetest person ever! you may think you have no interest but you must do to post a question on here, just get yourself out there dont let one guy ruin your perception of every guy like i did just get to know him before giving your heart to him :)im 23 female :P
A
male
reader, Uncle_Unsparing  +, writes (6 February 2012):
"It seems like everyone around me is looking for the one. The good guys are getting treated like shit by other females and the good girls are getting treated badly by horrible guys."As a guy in his fifties, I completely agree. I simply can't fathom the idea of random strangers moving in together right after meeting and then wasting years of their lives in unhealthy dysfunctional relationships nobody seems to have the sense to just walk away from. I may be old and out-of-touch, but what ever happened to the idea of dating, meeting people with the idea of getting to know them and weeding out those who just aren't a good fit as soon as differences become obvious? I could never imagine myself being intimate with someone I did not know outside a bar or bedroom. "I'm a nice girl, I'm cheerful, loving, friendly, loyal, big heart. Everywhere I go I makes friends easily."Admirable qualities that until recently would be considered huge advantages, now they seem to be social liabilities. All I can say is there are still a few like-minded guys out there who would jump at the chance to get to know you, unfortunately peer pressure is such they'd probably be embarassed to initially admit it for fear of ridicule."I don't like falling for the wrong guys and getting my heart broken but it seems like the story of my life. They all act so sweet at the beginning and ends up @ssholes. I'm not an easy girl I have morals."In a way I'm glad I'm my age, jumping into bed with total strangers is almost expected dating behavior I could never engage in. My parents taught me to respect women, most of my male friends had similar upbringings, absolutely disgraceful the way most guys seem to treat women nowadays, even more puzzling is so many girls seem to put up with it, even almost expect it. I can only advise you to be true to yourself, just because the rest of the world seems to be wrong no reason to join in. Don't give up hope just yet, you're only 22, you're still finding yourself as a person, you don't need to be coupled to be happy, you can be alone without being lonely, you're a smart insightful moral young woman and you should be proud of yourself, as long as you can look yourself in the mirror and know you did the right thing by your high standards then you've accomplished more than most of your age-group peers on any given day.Best wishes, good luck, and hang in there.
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A
female
reader, VernieD +, writes (6 February 2012):
 When I was 22, I was in the same position. I had been through two unsuccessful relationships, one where I was cheated on and the other where I was emotionally cheated.
I don't think it is abnormal to feel the way you do. And, I don't think you will always feel that way either. You just feel burned right now, completely understandable. I feel like once you are past college age people start putting a lot of pressure (on women especially) to find "the one" and start a family. But, it's never going to work if you force it. Take your time, do things that make you happy, and stop thinking about finding a guy. When you are ready, it will happen. It may seem like you want to be alone forever, but once the right guy comes along, I am willing to bet that will change.
Good luck and don't judge yourself by others' artificial standards!
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A
female
reader, bardia +, writes (6 February 2012):
 I feel for you. I can't hardly think about guys in general without feeling nauseated after my recent breakup. I know there are good guys out there. Have you considered trying it out with guys that you've friendzoned? We all seem to want what we can't have & don't want what's right before us. Give yourself time. Look for guys in places besides bars & clubs. And you've got plenty of time--trust me. I'm in the same boat but at 37!
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