A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm really interested in this girl in my college; we're together in a class of only 15 people. The problem is that we haven't even talked yet.And that's what makes it so difficult. It's very difficult to get the opportunity to talk to her because the class is so tiny and small and I just don't know what to do.I do know for a fact that she's very active online, I've been able to find places she posts on and stuff. What should I do? Should I talk to her online and tell her that I want to get to know her? Because it's almost impossible to approach her in real life.. and even if I could, I'd want a good reason to do so, instead of just saying "hi, what's up" or something lame like that.I really need some help with this. Any comments are appreciated. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (6 February 2012):
 Walk up to her and say, "Hi, what's up." It's not lame at all, it's confident and casual.
Think about it. Finding her online and then talking to her for the very first time - how is that casual? How is that confident? I promise you, she will react poorly if you have to explain that you're that guy from her class she's never spoken to, but who somehow found her on the internet, no matter how good your intentions or explanations are. It's just how chicks work.
If you don't have assigned seats, just sit next to her and say hi, and start talking as if you had known her for years (pretend she's another female friend if it helps). If you have assigned seats, talk to her on the way into or out of class. Better yet, if you have a mutual friend (preferably female), ask her to introduce you, or just go with your mutual friend to have lunch with her.
She won't bite. Approaching in person is natural, normal, and yet still gives the appearance of confidence. There is nothing lame about it. I know it can be a little nerve-wracking, and there is always the very real risk of rejection. But that's life, and in-person approaches are your best bet - who dares, wins.
In a tiny class, your best bet is to get to know everyone casually, if you can. Say hi, introduce yourself to everyone, and no one will think twice about you being social with any particular person.
Even if it doesn't work out (and let me add, a spectacular and dramatic rejection is unlikely; at worst, she'll just ignore you), you can be proud you made the attempt, learn from it, continue to enjoy life with your other classmates, and be confident enough to approach the next pretty girl you meet because you survived the last one.
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