A
female
age
30-35,
*oggirl2007
writes:I've been having THE worst love life these past few months.I'll explain it a bit first. I broke up with my boyfriend about a month and a half ago, and a week later, I started going out with this other guy who I fancied when I was still going out with my boyfriend. I didn't feel guilty at all at the time. But now a month has passed, and my old boyfriend and I haven't spoken a word to each other since the breakup. It's been driving me crazy, especially since I've had thoughts of breaking up with my current boyfriend because I'm sick of the pressure or because I still like my old boyfriend (I think it's both).Any advice for this situation? I've tried to confide in my friends and family, but my family (mainly my mother) isn't helping a bit, and I can really only confide in my best friend, who at the moment is either too busy or is depressed about not having a boyfriend of her own.Some helpful information;-My current boyfriend is really nice, affectionate, I can talk to him easily, I can be myself around him, and everything else I wanted, but he's kinda immature most of the time, plus a little bit rude about some of my friends, no matter how good of friends they are to me or not.-My ex-boyfriend was really nice, not so affectionate (I was his first girlfriend though), I could talk to him easily as well, couldn't be myself around him (mostly around his friends), I had been going out with him for over a year and a half, and he was always nice to me, we never got into a fight. He never said anything bad about me or my friends. He was also a bit shy.Hope that helps and thank you to those who reply!
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female
reader, KT1  +, writes (25 December 2007):
Hi doggirl2007.
I'm pleased that I could be of some help. How are things going?
A
female
reader, superwoman +, writes (14 December 2007):
Hello! How are you today? Hope you feel better! My name is Emily and I'm twenty years old. Your problem is quite common. Many people go through this same situation. Well, first of all i want to tell you that I'm here to advice you and to help you get through your problem. I read your story, and got really motivated. I could relate to what your feeling because i went through it when i was about your age.
Now that I'm twenty i realize that choosing between either one was a bad idea. Nothing good came out from my relationship with my boyfriend. I was so confused and lonely. After five months I realized that I had wasted my time and i was better off thinking about it.
This might be difficult to hear, but my suggestion is to leave them both. You should leave them both, because you'll have less confusion and you'll be sure about your feelings. If you continue your relationships it might create an emotional disorder. It can even damage your partner's feelings.
After this, you might feel like your life is chaos, but I have some suggestion. My idea of getting your mind of this problem is to hang out with your friends. You should also consider going to parties and the movies. Exercising is a great way to stay in shape, and keep your feelings distracted.
Hopefully you take this advise to consideration. Your problem is not rear it happens to the majority of teens. Since you are young, you should worry less about relationships and focus in something else, for example school and your family that loves you no matter what. In the mean time you should take this experience as a lesson and less as a problem.
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A
female
reader, doggirl2007 +, writes (4 December 2007):
doggirl2007 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you for the advice KT1.
I think I'm going to ask my current boyfriend to give me a bit of space so I can think things through more clearly. There is actually a dance coming up at my school, so I'll probably ask him if he can let me be till then (in a nice way, don't worry).
And I realized I hadn't given the reason why I broke up with my boyfriend after I posted...silly me. The reason is kinda sketchy, even to me. I think I considered him a best friend more than a boyfriend, but now I'm thinking I broke up with him to protect him and myself from me cheating on him. It probably seemed nice, but getting together with the other guy that soon probably did devastate him, now that I think about it.
Thank you again! And I'll update soon when I hopefully get things settled down again.
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A
female
reader, KT1 +, writes (4 December 2007):
Your ex isn't probably isn't talking to you because you seemingly moved on so quickly - that has quite possibly devastated him. You haven't said why you broke up with him - this reason could have an impact on all of this. If you were truly happy with your ex, you wouldn't have even noticed your current guy. You didn't give yourself enough time to move on to be ready for your new guy and also leave the old one behind (in a romantic sense) This is why you’re going crazy – maybe you should take some time away from both guys (even a couple of days will do) to work out who you really want to be with and sort out any unresolved feelings you may have. Ex's being platonic friends rarely happens - but you need to work on this if its really important to you, you should talk to him about it and tell him that his friendship is important to you and see what he says – this will give you your answer in the long term. Think of it this way - after you break up, it's like working on a brand new friendship again, even though you know them, its like starting all over again because once a relationship has become romantic, things change therefore even though it might have been built on friendship it can’t automatically revert back to pure friendship. If you ultimately to decide that you want to get back with your ex, don’t leave your current one hanging, but be sure of you and your ex getting back together before saying good bye to the current one or else you may end up with neither. Good Luck - let us know how it turns out
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