A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Iam a married 40yr old who has been having an affair with my friends 16yr old daughter. She may now be pregnant and I think I love her. What should I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2009): i met my boyfriend when i was 16 and he was 40.we met in a pub and became friends at first ater a few months it develped into a relashonship.age doesnt matter as long as ur BOTH happy.as for a baby u have to talk this though i got pregnent by my partner at 16 but decided we hahdnt been together long enough and wanted to see how things develped between us first so i had a termination but i do not regret it al all.your girlfriend is legal ther is no reason y u should hide ur relashonship if u love each other u will get nasty comments and people will talk but they will soon get somin else to talk about and if u really love each other wot ova people think shouldnt matter.me and me partner have been 2gether 4 yrs now have a nice flat both got jobs and a gr8 social life and i couldnt be happier.i hope it works out for u both age is just a numba!
A
female
reader, LeighLeigh  +, writes (14 July 2009):
 1).
I'm going to point you into the same direction as everyone else.. Get the test done!!
Make sure you get the blood test as it is better than any other pregnancy test!!!
2).
I have to ask why weren't you using protection in the first place? You're old enough to know better!!!
3).
When your wife finds out the truth... Just place you're self in her shoes... eg; You are married and your hubby sleeps with your 16yr old daughter.... Or even how would you feel if a 40yr scewed your daughter... And tell me would you be happy?
I'm not one to quickly judge... but you should know better...
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2009): A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2009):
Sorry, I somehow managed to miss the fact that you are married. Well congratulations, you have managed to destroy your marriage too.
There is no good outcome to this. Infact a bad outcome would be a sort of success. There is no wishing this one away: from this point forward you can be a complete jerk and have it all come crashing down around you, or you can do the best you can for everyone else, and still have it come crashing down around you. The only advantage to the latter is that at the last gasp you acted with some integrity and shouldered your responsibilities.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2009): Okay, well obviously the secret will come out, and your friendship will be damaged horrendously. However, just make sure that you have a talk with her about the future and her feelings on keeping the baby or not.
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A
male
reader, Dalmatian  +, writes (11 July 2009):
If my 40 year old friend got my 16 year old daughter
pregnant jail would be the least of his worries. Her
daddy and relatives would solve the issue on a very personal basis.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2009): Well you may have registered yourself as "a male", but frankly your a poor specimen.Your 40 and your friend's daughter is 16? Do you really need to be told how inappropriate that is? I assume the relationship did not start when she was younger, which is the only benefit of the doubt I will give you. Because frankly the fact that she is pregnant is your fault. You are the 40 year old, you know the facts of life, how hard would it have been to use a condom? Your not some hormone overloaded horny teenage who got carried away, which would have been more understandable.You ask "what should you do"? Frankly accept your responsibility and talk with your girlfriend and then both together talk to her parents and agree what's best for her.Sound painful? It might get very painful if your friend (or the girl's father if your friend is the mother), who will be incandescent, decides to give you a thrashing. Tough - sex is for adults because it carries potentially serious consequences. You engage in it, you accept the consequences.I know we are not supposed to judge, and I'm not some moral crusader with hang-ups about sex before marriage, casual sex etc etc. But sexual freedom does not eliminate responsibilities. We no longer live in an era where you would have to marry her, thank goodness, but you still need to do the right thing and sort it out with her and accept the consequences.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2009): I have only once heard of a relationship working in this context when a student had an affair with her middle age teacher and they ended up living together and going on to have children. If you truly love this very young woman then you need to show it to her and make plans for a future together and possibly your child. My question would be....would you stay with her if she ended up not being pregnant or lost the baby during pregnancy. If you are 'in love' because of the possibility of her being pregnant then I think you should consider simply supporting her financially and partly emotionally. Once you know for sure she is pregnant its time to tell your wife and make a decision. If she is not pregnant then the above consideration applies - do you still want to be with her? Either way you stand to lose some people in your life. Make your step by step decisions very carefully.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2009): If she is pregnant it's your responsibility as an adult to give her any support and help that she needs. You need to be a man and confess to your wife and to your friend that you have got this girl pregnant.
You have put a very young girl in a very adult situation and now you need to accept what you have done and deal with the consequences.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (10 July 2009):
 What aspect of this situation do you feel you need help with?
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A
female
reader, betty_black +, writes (10 July 2009):
 Oh and it doesnt class as statutory rape, shes 16.
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A
female
reader, betty_black +, writes (10 July 2009):
It wasnt rape was it?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (10 July 2009):
 I'm not sure if the UK have the same age rules for statutory rape as the US.
Sorry to say but I can not give you a "nice" reply at all.
I see jail time in your future.
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A
female
reader, betty_black +, writes (10 July 2009):
O-OH!! Im not gonna proceed to lecture you because im pretty sure that what youve done is VERY wrong indeeed. Well get her to test and if she is, then its her decision what she does. But you will have to tell your wife and you will HAVE to stand by this girl. You got into this mess, theres no way out.
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