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male
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*hredordie
writes: Me and my ex's annivesary is coming up. We have been getting a long really well lately, talking a lot and hanging out together just me and her for the first time in many months. She is dating a guy, but she started dating him right after we broke up, so it's probably just a rebound. They are very different people so I'm thinking that it won't work out.I am planning on sending her a slideshow with pictures, audio, and a message on our anniversary. I'm nervous and not sure what her reaction will be. Any advice?
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2006): Oh why not if shes making you happy as long as it wont mess your head up too much, order a Takeaway banquet or somthing get all your faverate music and light a few candals nice table cloth pour the wine sorted! But remember though she is still your Ex for a reason so keep your options open maybe it would better to do this for someone whos going out with you and who loves you and is not dating some other Bloke.So think about dating someone new as well maybe,
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male
reader, Lostandalone  +, writes (3 October 2006):
 I agree with everyone else. Don't send the gift. She has moved on and you should do the same. If she was into you this way she would let you know. You can tell her how you feel and be done with it. Its obvious that being her friend is hard for you even though things are going great you see it in a different light as she does. Try backing off for awhile and then go back and try to be her friend. You're putting to much stock in this and building your hopes up. I'm not saying that you can't reconcile but for right now you need to be a little more cautious with your feelings. I hope this helps you. Good Luck.
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female
reader, amerthyst0202  +, writes (3 October 2006):
 She is in a relationship with some one else enjoy her friend ship and look for someone else yourself if you can't talk to her to tell her how you feel about her how embarrassed would you both feel if she laughed at your anniversary gesture.
Good luck
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2006): By definition an "ex" is something from the past. Though you may be getting along well with her, which is good, you shouldn't assume a reconciliation is in the works unless she's told you so. She may just be happy to that the two of you can at least be friends after the break up. Before you invest any time or emotion in an anniversary gift, why not have a heart-to-heart talk with her about your feelings and see if she is considering getting back with you. Don't assume that she is through with her current boyfriend simply because you want it to be so. They may have more in common than you think. It would be a bummer to get your hopes up, only to have them dashed to pieces. Instead of expending so much energy trying to get your "ex" back, why not try pursuing someone new?
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female
reader, asphodel +, writes (3 October 2006):
 Hi Shredordie,
I'd really advise against it... how would you like it if you were dating someone and her ex boyfriend sent her something commemorating their anniversary? Your relationship is over, and there is no longer a need to celebrate an anniversary. It's not for you to say whether her new relationship is a rebound or whether it will work out. And if you've been getting along better, maybe that's precisely because you are better off as friends than you are as a couple. If she wanted to be back with you, she probably wouldn't be with someone else. Just let her be with her new boyfriend... it is HER decision, not yours, whether to stay with him or not. Take a step back from all this and respect her right to be with someone else, regardless of whether or not you approve. In doing so, you will leave an open door for the right person to come along for you!
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