A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I find older men way more attractive than guys my own age! I'm in a relationship with a guy my own age (3 years and going pretty well) but though I find him pretty cute, I just find older guys far more attractive. And by older, I mean 10+ years. I worked with a guy 10 years older who'd flirt and once looked really seriously into my eyes when he told me I was beautiful and I literally melted (safe to say I had a huge crush on him, but he was taken) and I can't help but find men who are old enough to be my dad more attractive than males closer to my own age. Can anyone explain/sympathise? Why am I finding it hard to be attracted to young guys? It's not like a relationship with a guy 10-20 years my senior would really be something that works, would it? Just curious, since this is starting to bother me. [Mod note: OP’s age is shown as 19 years old]
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2016): Females tend to mature a year or two earlier than males when they are 10-15yrs. But they get credited with more maturity at 18 or 20. And at 25, and 30. The attitude pretty much continues for the rest of our lives. If the situation was reversed then we would be calling it what it is: a gender bias. Inconvenient truth: It shows more maturity for an 18yr old girl to reject the advances of a 28yr old man than to go for him.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2016): First male anon responding to OP's update:
Thanks for the clarification regarding your relationship with your father, I stand corrected.
However my concerns about an older man's motivations for dating a younger woman still apply. Not saying it's always the case, just that it happens often enough for you to be aware and take notice.
As for not being really interested in guys your age, one factor may be that females tend to mature earlier than males. Guys have a tendency to hang on to the slacker/frat boy/party animal lifestyle for as long as they can so there can be a real maturity gap between you and guys your age.
Once they catch up (usually by mid-twenties) you may find a guy your age more compatible than an older man.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (3 August 2016):
 I think 10 years is too much until you're both 25+ because the life stages are just too different before that. I mean, it's rare to find a healthy relationship between a 25 year old and a 50 year old that works because they're at different life stages. You and a 28/29 year old wouldn't be at the same life stage, unless he was pretty immature or unambitious, so whilst it may work in the future, it probably wouldn't be a good idea yet.
Maybe you should see if there's anything other than age difference lacking with your boyfriend before you break up, as you don't want to throw away a good relationship over age.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2016): OP here
Since its come up a few times I thought I'd just point out that I have a perfectly healthy, normal relationship with my dad, and have at no point ever felt the urge to call a partner "daddy". Tbh I've never really understood that particular kink. I literally just find older guys more attractive, I don't see them as having a particularly authoritative role over me...
Thank you for your responses though, they mean a lot
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (2 August 2016):
 Ahhhhh.... the old search for "Daddy".....
Good luck......
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2016): It's hormones. No better and no worse. Just like when older guys like younger girls. Evolution.
It's fashionable to believe this is because women are more mature than men. I don't buy it.
Young girls who are into older guys would usually rather have a 28yo guy who acts 18 than an 18yo guy who acts 28. The maturity thing is just a rationalized excuse. Its not what is really driving the attraction.
Same with the "immature" older guys - most of them are attracted to an 18yo female body. If they could get one with a 28yo mind it would be a popular option.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (2 August 2016):
 It could work absolutely. There's nothing wrong with it, it's just your personal preference.
However, if you don't see a future with your boyfriend then you need to be upfront with him and let him know. Don't stay with him for the sake of it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2016): I find older guys so much more sexier too and always have and still do. In past year or so though, Ive noticed I meet men Im attracted to and they were a lot younger than me. So it goes that age doesnt really matter at all, the 'MATURE' look can exist in diff men and at diff stages of their lifeMy experience with older men so far (6-10 years older) though, the sex is amazing. There is a lot of chemistry and they find younger girls to be easier to charm and the passion is off the charts. But I say just go with compability first and foremost. People fall in love for various reasons. All my celebrity crushes and men that I find very attractive are always over 35+ and if they holla at me, boy am I happy and ready to go lol. But thats just what they are: crushesAny guy can make you happy so age shouldnt matter so much. I work in a place that have couples from all ages and types and I find that as a girl age, its important to find someone at least 1-15 years in age similarity because I find attractive women in their 50s to 60s with their older husband 70s-80s and its hard be taking care of a much older man when youre still young and seeking companionship. That said if you love your bf, that shouldnt deter you from enjoying what he has to offer too. Just imagine this, he will be older too and all that sexiness will be yours even as you age with him.I'm currently dating a guy who is just a year older than me and I was iffy about it but hes been caring, he texts me (unlike an ex who was older), and he has been genuine and caring. All traits I want and I know as he ages, he will just keep getting hotter. That said, I wish he was 10 years older now but *sigh* lol. The sex is great thoughJust enjoy the guy who is accessible to you know. =)
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (2 August 2016):
 You say: 'It's not like a relationship with a guy 10-20 years my senior would really be something that works, would it?'
I think history would prove you wrong. There are many examples of older men and younger women - probably the opposite too. As the saying goes, find someone who wants to love you, and let them.
Many older men take care of themselves physically. They know how to look after a woman, and they don't all come with baggage.
If it feels right to you take the plunge.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2016): "I can't help but find men who are old enough to be my dad more attractive than males closer to my own age."Is your father in the picture? If not, then you may be projecting your need for paternal attention and affection onto an older man who would fulfill your wish for both a boyfriend and a father figure.As a guy old enough to be your grandfather I can tell you that the majority of middle-aged men who seek younger women do so out of ego and vanity; by dating a younger woman he can prove to the world he's still attractive and virile and studly. Be forewarned that chances are any older man who may claim to be in love with you is actually in love with the idea of having a trophy girlfriend, and should you develop a relationship chances are he'll eventually trade you in for a newer model and you'll find yourself dumped onto the used car market with far too many miles on your odometer.
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (2 August 2016):
You are probably attracted to the idea of a man with maturity and a bit of life experience. A thing for older guys is not uncommon.
Age gaps are not primarily about numbers but stages in life. A guy 10 years older or more might be looking for the same things as you, but he could equally be divorced and spending weekends with his kids whilst his 18 year-old girlfriend wants to party. The point is, don't worry too much about the numbers but about compatibility.
As for your boyfriend, it doesn't matter that he may not be your usual type if you are really in love with him. But if you are just drifting along, not really that into him but not wanting to rock the boat either, it may be time to be honest with him and call it a day. Only you know really what you feel for him.
I wish you all the very best.
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