A
female
age
30-35,
*onfused?
writes:I guess I'm just wanting advice on whether this girl i'm mad about is gay. I fell in love with her over a year ago and it was the first time i've ever liked a girl so its taken me a pretty long time to accept it. But now i'm confident with the fact i'm either bi or gay (not exactly sure, inclined to think i'm gay but don't want to jump too fast...). Anyway, I'm finally becoming really good friends with her - i have 2/3 of all my lessons at school (i'm 17) with her and we chat more than once every day:) Its wonderful finally getting to spend time with her and i'm happy just being with her at all.However, I'm also crazy about her and would love more. I've always just 'felt' like she's gay despite her claiming she's straight. She's NEVER had a boyfriend though and yet she's so pretty. She has a typical 'lesbian' haircut and wants to join the army. The only films she likes are proper army/action ones etc. I know these are just stereotypical things that might not mean anything but its more the feeling I have. But perhaps its the fact i WANT to think she's gay? I KNOW she cares about me but i just dont know whether its just as a friend - it feels different somehow. A mutual friend of ours is openly bi and has a girlfriend who the girl in question often hangs out with so she doesn't have a problem with it. But then i think that if she is gay but not open about it, she would be less likely to hang out with gay people (if that makes sense?). Okay so i know no one can really answer me, so sorry for rambling. I guess i just want someone to tell me she's definetly gay and she's secretly in love with me and everything will turn out happy ever after. But this is real life so thats unlikely to happen!Thanks anyway:) xxx
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female
reader, dididoo  +, writes (11 October 2009):
tell her you like her.
it will save you a lot of unnecessary battles with your own mind and heart. you can make assumptions all day, look for every hint and clue and at the end of the day you'll still never be sure. so just tell her the truth.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2009): dont try to force this girl out of the closet hon. if she is gay, she is obviously not ready to admit or or is just not open about it. now, there areeee stereotypes for a reason. not to say all women with short hair (im assuming thats what u meant by "lesbian haircut") and fascinated with the military are gay, but we think these things for a reason; a majority of the time they can be true. true, you may just be getting your hopes up for no reason, but we are young! live life to the fullest every single day! if u are openly gay or bi and dont have a problem with sharing it with this girl, then id say slowly hint your feelings for her. do not rush things, as this would be her first relationship, correct? so take things slow for now and see where they progress to.be careful with your heart dear, dont automatically expect this to turn out into the greatest relationship ever where u 2 get married and live happily ever after immediately. things take time :) hope i helped out! good luck!-Bunny3
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2009): Just because she has the 'stereotypes' does NOT mean she is gay, no matter how much you want her to be! Grow up.
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A
female
reader, boo22 +, writes (5 October 2009):
 Hi, I hope she's straight and she falls in love with you tomorrow. Now back in the real world, i think your intuition is probably right. Trust your instincts in life, they're usually more reliable than anything else. Good luck x
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (5 October 2009):
If she is, she's not ready to face up to it just yet I'm afraid, so she's not really the one for you. Take your time and find someone else.
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