A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:May seem far-fetched, but i do not have any reason to lie on here...I just need some honest, non-biased advice..My boyfriend and I have been extremely happy together for a year and a half. We know that this is it, we have found who we want to be with forever. Our Family's know and like one another, hell, my older bro and his younger sis are even dating now (weird..but fun to double up and go bar hoping)ANYWAY. He is amazing at baseball, got a scholarship and transferred to my college. Amazing, everyone knows us and we stick out as the two athletic, good looking, blond couple. (wow that sounded extremely cocky, I apologize)But all of a sudden he has been asked to be on broadway. wow...exciting. I have gone to him to NYC for tryouts and everyone is giving him promising advise on becoming famous and multiple shows he will be asked to be in.-he is tall, extremely built, and extremely intelligent and has good morals..everyone seems to like him.I don't know why, but i am getting such a bad gut feeling. It's all happening so fast and I don't know how I feel about dating someone who is going to be doing movies for a living...i always thought he'd make it as a pro baseball player, its what he has been training for his whole life. He already has pro teams looking at him, why is he going in this direction that makes me feel uneasy?I want to be supportive, i want him to be happy, i want him to succeed in everything he wants to. He has even proposed getting me in on the action so that he doesn't have to act with other chicks..ugh..or he'd stick to action films w/out sex scenes, etc. When I was younger this would've been a dream come true so...WHY CAN'T i feel happy instead of uneasy?I feel like me not feeling overjoyed (like i should feel for him) is failing him as a girlfriend and a best friend. So what I'd be thankful to hear from you guys is: Am I being crazy? Is there anything that I could do to ease my bad gut feeling? I told him that I feel like i'd hold'm back by being a nobody, but he is insisting that where ever he goes he wants me to come with him and he'll take care of me. I'm not used to being the follower, i'd like to lead in some ways..i just feel like a carry-on i guess. Suggestions for why I'm over-reacting? Or what i should do? =/
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male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (21 November 2010):
 Your not over reacting at all. This is very tipical when someone, even the one you love is acheiving something that you yourself would want. It's a natural human reaction and although you feel that way I know you are capable of showing him that you are happy for him. He wouldn't leave you no matter what you do for a living even if he is famous one day because fame shouldn't change people so he'll stay the person who loves you.
As for what you can do to get rid of this feeling I recommand trying not to focus on what he has just done and don't compare yourself to him. You have your own talents that he does not have and that is why you have no reason to be jealous. In the end you will both make it through life via two different paths even though you both are together and each path will have it's rewards and set backs. I guess what I am trying to say is be the person who you want to be, work at improving yourself and not trying to compete with your bf. The people in a relationship should both always be equal no matter the standing of one of the people and I'm sure this is why he is saying that it doesn't matter what you do in life he wants to be with you for who you are in your head.
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