A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:What do I do if another girl is in love with my boyfriend? They first became friends through class, but I know she likes him and he knows it too. He said he has no feelings for her and only sees her in class, but she texts him constantly and I am incredibly uncomfortable with the entire situation. What do I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2010): Why does she have his phone number to begin with? He had to have given it to her at some point.
Ask him if it's OK if your guy friends constantly text you.
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (21 November 2010):
 I disagree with the notion that there isn't much you can do about this. The thing about this here is that your boyfriend knows that this other girl has feelings for him and texts him constantly. She wouldn't keep it up if he wasn't answering her texts.
This is an ego thing for him. He loves this other girl's attentions, even if he doesn't intend to respond to them. It's always intoxicating to be desired by someone. However, you don't have to put up with his soaking up her attentions.
The big thing for you is poise. Do NOT get naggy. Do not get emotional. Do not go unhinged. Tell him that he is letting this other girl get too close with her constant texting of him (and his responding to her), and that you won't be in a relationship with someone who is keeping his options open.
Then leave it at that. If he's unwilling or unable to break off the inappropriate closeness (again, it's because she likes him and he knows it, not merely because another girl texts him), then you break it off with him. He'll find out quickly that the ego doesn't handle a breakup that well. But you don't have to put up with a guy soaking up the attentions of someone else without discouraging them.
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A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (21 November 2010):
 There really isn't that much that you can. The best thing to do is though not to be the jealous gf although you do have a right to express some opinion about this other girl. If your bf doesn't feel like bothers you all that much it will take away from any thoughts about her he might have. You really just need to keep being a great gf and trust him that this girl will stay just a friend to him because he knows that he would never want to lose you. She may have bad intentions with him and you can hate her for that but in the end your bf is the one who you have to trust and he is not the one you want to take this frustration out on.
Hope this helps, I know what's like to be in the uneasy jealous situation.
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