A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm in love, I just know and feel it, the only problem is the guy is 15 years older than I am. (I'm 15 he's 30)I know its crazy for me to say I am in love but I am.We don't have a "real" relationship,I didn't want him to get in trouble from being with me. But I know we both feel a great connection with each other. I'm not very sure what to do, I've tried forgetting about it, telling myself how crazy it is to think any kind of relationship is possible but its not working. My parents know, they are okay with it but tell me that the likelyness of it ever working out, even when I turn 18, is very low. Can any one help me, just any advice at all. Thanks. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, KoreanMexicanLolita  +, writes (9 August 2014):
 To the original question:
I am in very much the same situation. I started dating my man when I was 15 and he was 30. We have been together a few months and although he certainly "wants my body", he is also genuinely interested in my life, and willing to wait for me to grow up so we can get married. If your boyfriend is a gentleman like this, then by all means continue with the relationship. But if he is a predator, run away really fast!
~Love and hugs! God bless you!~
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2007): Hello there, first of all, she never said that her parents allowed her to sleep with him, she didn't even post anything like that!!!First of all, age is just a number, I'm 21 years old, studying Law, with a 10 month old baby, and a 46 year old(yes 46!) boyfriend, I'm I doing fine??? of course, I haven't been happier in my life, I meet him when I was 16 years old, as just friends you see he's a dentist and I was his patient. Is love, you cna't stop love, love just comes and you can't stop it, besides, 15 year old boys are the most immature things in the world, maybe that's why you're attracted to him.But, the only thing I'm going to tell you is, Please if he says or tries to do something that you don't want, just go, leave him, it does happen, just be happy and see how it works
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female
reader, cute_mandy  +, writes (18 June 2007):
Hi, im 19 and i have fallin in love with a 43 year old he has a daughter that is the same age as me and she hates it. It has come between us before and we finished for ages but last week he rang me and now we are back toghter i know there is a big differen but age doesnt matter its only a number adn if your happy thats all that matters. When i told my parents they didnt mind even thro he is the same age as my dad but they said once im happy they dont mind. So keep your head up and if its ment to be its ment to be :)
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female
reader, :):):)  +, writes (16 June 2007):
Hi, I have a bit of a thing for older men too so can totally identify with you there. At the moment it doesnt seem wrong to you because you obviously are attracted to this guy and have a connection with him. Plus at 15 your at that confusing age for guys when you probably act and maybe look like an adult but you are still only 15 and though you feel comfortable is this situation alot changes in the next couple of years and your likely to change your thoughts alot and perhaps have regrets.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2007): hey,at your age, i thought i was inlove too, but you have sooooo much time ahead of you, that you should just live life and enjoy your young years. The same thing happened with my sister, in highschool she swore up and down that she and her bf were in love and would get married one day, sure they lasted a good 2 and a half years but it ended shortly thereafter...you are way too young so dont sweat it!and---i hope ur a virgin! at 15 you better be!plus sleeping with a 30 year old is like sleeping with your dad or uncle....pretty gross if ya ask me. im almost sure that people say hes old enough to be your dad. thats not even legal.
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female
reader, Beckto +, writes (15 June 2007):
 If this is just a crush and you and he have not done anything, then that's one thing. It's ok for you to be interested in or curious about older men. But there should not be any relationship beyond a purely friendly one. If you and he do in fact have a relationship that is sexual, then there is something very very wrong. It's a real shame that your parents are ok with this. This form of neglect is going to shape you, and have an untold effect on your adulthood. Three adults in this situation are failing you, if this is really the case: father, mother, and the 30 year old. If the two of you have had sex, then you are a victim of sexual abuse, and an adult besides your parents should be told.For your sake, I hope this is just a crush. If it is, relax, you'll feel better soon.
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A
female
reader, i might be a girl but i can help +, writes (15 June 2007):
 im sorry hun but this is completly wrong i normal say age doesn't matter but if u guys are havin sex he can get in to alot of trouble and its just wrong. and im guessin his u first love and trust me its going to take ages for u to get over him but i think u should. but im glad u relaized that this is wrong and u are talking about it. and the fact ur young as well im not ayin girs at our age can't have relationships but we don't understand won't love means and the fact his more experienced than u in al cases. find someone close to ur age im sorry but u will be so much happier good luck xxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2007): Age is only a number if you are 30 and 45 let's say, but at 15 and 30 it is certainly inappropriate.....I am not sure if you are having sexual relations with him yet, but I am sure that is what he is grooming you for by gaining your trust and encouraging your loving feelings....I think your parents must be nuts or have their head in the sand, or maybe they think if they tell you no, you will just go ahead with it that much harder against their wishes....what ever the situation is, it will not last, and I think the 30 year old is creepy for being attracted to a little girl only a just beginning highschool, who two years ago just became a teen,,,there is a sad situation in the US, where kids are having to watch out now for sexual predators, and in every state of the union, that is what this guy is classified by Law if he is trying to have a relationship with you, or even thinking about it.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2007): im dating this guy who is 22 and im 16 i think this is fine with age if u think about it age is only a number!! if i were u i would go for it dont listen to anyone else what they are saying because i have it before and mine relationship is strong with my bf!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2007): There is no relationship, she has said this. They aren't sleeping together, her parents are okay with her liking him not sleeping with him.
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A
female
reader, becky13 +, writes (15 June 2007):
i have that too for 2 years now and no one know about it but me and him i love him alot
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2007): I can't believe your parents are OK with you sleeping with a man who is that much older than you are and you're are a child of 15. It is illegal for him to be sleeping with you and there is a reason for that, at 15 you do not have the life experience to make rational and sound judgements in matters such as these....he has a real problem. If he has to have relations with a child, then he is incapable of having an adult relationship with one of his peers, and he may even be a sex predator, attracted to children....I know you think you are a woman, but I was 15 once and know for a fact that you are still a girl.....this guy has some real issues and I am sorry that you got drawn into that....you are not in love, just mostly strongly infatuated and excited that a man, not a boy finds you attractive, it is heady in it's sense of having power over men, but it isn't real, this guy is using you....you are so far away from the maturity level that he has, that you have no idea how he is taking advantage of you, and for this I am worried about your safety and your heart, please tell him to leave you alone the first chance you get....this is not an age issue, it is a maturity issue and developmental issue, and you simply and profoundly are too young for this man, and he is a pervert for taking advantage of you at your young age.
I am disturbed that your parents are not guiding you, they seem to be too cool to be your parents and are trying to be your friend, like anything goes, which is really bad for you. It would be much better if they set some boundaries and kept them strong when you railed against them....kids need discipline, and yours is definately lacking
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2007): The great connection is mostly a dopamine reaction (search the web for dopamine and love), and other 30-year-olds probably think your dreamboat is a bit of a loser for reasons you can't see yet. Your parents are smart not to tell you this though--they're staying on your side and being helpful, which they can afford to do because you're wise enough not to act on an illegal impulse. Seriously, congratulate yourself for having some foresight and self-control here. It hurts, but it means you're pretty good at predicting realities.
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