A
female
age
51-59,
*heery64
writes:im so confused about my feelings please help. im 40 my ex is 30 and that was never an issue just a fact..anyway we were together two and a half years and broke up two weeks ago. we have broken up many times before - always my choice - but hes always begged me for another chance but not this time - no txts etc. i should be glad as hes been physically and verbally abusive to me. pushing me around and name calling etc. i lost the spirit to argue my point as he would shout me down every time. i wasnt happy, I certainly didnt feel respected so why oh why do I feel like Im dying inside? i havent cried once this time - I feel that he doesnt deserve my tears but I want to fall to pieces. please help me
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (16 October 2009):
 You will have some ups and downs for awhile, I'm afraid. You'll start feeling slightly better then you'll hear a song or see something on television and BINGO you'll be in tears. It's very painful but it will get better you won't feel like this forever and that's what you have to keep telling yourself on those darkest days. Hang in there Buttercup.
A
female
reader, cheery64 +, writes (16 October 2009):
cheery64 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you both for your replies. it really helps to put how lm truly feeling down as l am pretending to be fine to everyone else and its so not true. i know a woman of my age should know better but lm so desperately sad. l know its for the best-he really wasnt good for me but l love him-just cant help myself. everytime my phone goes l pray its him-its such a shock that he has stopped contact as he always did when we broke up before but l dont blame him. l hope each day to feel a bit better but it seems each day l feel worse. l cant bear the pain
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (15 October 2009):
Sweetheart it's only been 2 weeks. It takes time to recover from a broken heart. You did the right thing, that relationship was turning toxic. You will find as the days go by you will be able to breathe deeper, smile more, and sleep better. Try to relax and let yourself mend. Keep us posted too, sometimes it helps to write your feelings down and that's what we're here for.
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A
female
reader, Dr Bex +, writes (15 October 2009):
Feelings and emotions are a very powerful thing and when we break up from someone we love, we go through a grieving process. No matter how many times you have broken up and got back together the love is the hardest emotion to erase. Sometimes its not necessarily the person you are missing - its the companionship and having someone there. You say your partner was abusive to you so you must remind yourself the reasons why you have broken up with him. You should never let someone abuse you mentally or pysically. I'm sure breaking up with him was a difficult thing as your confidence was knocked. Feeling empty and alone inside is all part of the emotional rollercoaster we have to go through in life. What I can say is time will heal your heart and your head. You need to cry and need to be angry. You're bottling it all up in the pit of your stomach which feels like you are dying inside. You're not. Its an acummulation of feelings you're not letting out. Be strong but you need to cry and release these feelings. No man is worth your tears you are right and waiting for you wherever he may be is the man of your dreams who is waiting to whisk you off your feet. Maybe time apart not texting and having no communication may make him realise what he has done and you will work things out. Having no contact is the hardest thing but it is also the most powerful thing. Don't give in. Have time to yourself and enjoy some you time. The feelings will fade.
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