A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:ok. So, it seems like I need additional advice. I just hate messy break ups. I had an LDR for a little less than a year but it went bad. to make a long story short, the feeling was not there, the attention was not there and he was a liar (when we first met he even lied about where he came from)So I ended it in a very polite way, but he obviously didn't take the hint (ok, granted,I could have been clearer but I did mention that it is better to try again in another lifetime) I thought it was over and then he deleted his entire facebook account saying he has to concentrate at work (but he still has plenty of time to cruise on a dating site, another lie he told me) so when he sent me a romantic txt out of the blue I was insulted and called him on it. I specifically told him I am breaking this off (obviously he didn't catch it a week ago) as I was not going to allow him to come in and out of my life at will. Then he mailed to apologize but he had to break up with me (!!!) and that he should not have created expectations, as if I was making everything up. Then another mail informing me I was simply angry because he didn't call. I wrote back explaining in detail all the things that had forced me to see that he is not the one for me and now he is writing back with more outrageous assumptions (blaming my hormones and my emotional mood and other low stuff) trying to appear like he is the bigger man and I am the crazy one, offering me advice as to which phase of my cycle I should write to a man in a very formal way. Is it me or is he being incredibly patronizing? Why does he feel the need to reply with more absurd accusations and snide remarks saying this is the last time he writes (every time)? Was I wrong to be so angry when he sent me love txt after everything I know and what I already said to him? I just wanted out. How do I escape the he said she said battle? I am so provoked to answer. I mean I feel that with every mail he attacks my integrity, it is only human to want to set the record straight. I have no romantic feelings for him, they have been gone for three months now. Was it a bad idea to call a liar a liar and to tell the truth about what I have been feeling for the past three months? I am just not the poor dear he is portraying. Isn't what people are supposed to do? Be honest with each other? I can't believe I ever chose this guy. sighI am sorry for the length. I would really appreciate some answers
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2009): Create a filter in your email so his emails are deleted instead of being delivered to your inbox. Inform him that you are doing that, if you want. But that may provoke into finding other ways of getting in touch with you.
He's just hitting out like a baby. Let him be. Talking is negotiating. Till you keep talking there is no closure, for him or for you. Be the bigger person here.
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