A
female
age
30-35,
*ottie.X
writes:Sorry it's long but... help?This guy would wipe my tears away and told me he's not like those guys who use girls for sex, he's in it for long-term, and he'll wait for me for as long as it takes. We talked everyday. But then... two and a half months later my best friend told me... he asked out another girl the day after we started going out. I confronted him and he denied it. "I'd never cheat!!! it's just so low." We argued and he said "if you believe them, it's over! So who is it, me or them?" I said "I never wanted to lose someone like you" and he said we'd still be friends. I was shocked at how willing he was to throw it all away...The girl said he didn't ask her out but he told her he liked her. She got angry at him when she found out he had a gf and then he said "it's an open relationship and we're taking it slow." (We had agreed to take it slow though...coincidence? My instinct says no.) But then he asked her for advice about giving me my first kiss as a present for my upcoming 17th bday. I got angry and broke up with him. "i mean,after that he never said anything about liking me.all he went on about was how much he loved you and how ah-mazing you are.he really does care about you hun x" The girl said maybe he was confused.. but he sounded so sure about never feeling this way about anyone before other than me.. so no. The next night I apologized and he said he needed time to clear his head. A week later he said "i just cant do it again, because i got really hurt from what you said to me and i dont want to be hurt again [he's been cheated on before]. i know this seems weird but if we got back together and broke up again it would hurt more, and i dont want to hurt you, i do love you but i dont want to risk hurting you because you mean so much to me. sorry. i love you." On the phone that night he said "we can still be friends... and hang out... and hug..." and joked about friends with benefits and said "do you know what friends with benefits are?" I said "WHAT?! Um yes." We never had sex or anything down there! (Thank god I'm still a virgin at 17; I'm not changing that for quite awhile!) He never ever pressured me for anything sexual - in fact he always said if he does anything to make me uncomfortable, just say no and he'll stop. He didn't ask to be friends with benefits though. -He once told me that a girl started accusing him of cheating, saying he tried to talk dirty to her but he said it wasn't him, someone hacked his account.. My best guy friend said since we broke up he'd asked out a lot of other girls and has gotten rejected. I accused him and he said "don't really care, killing myself soon." So I sent him like 10 texts trying to convince him like crazy not to, then he denied asking out other girls during those 2 weeks since we broke up and said "leave me alone." One person said that the problem is me making this an issue 2.5 months after it happened. "The guy wasn't perfect, but he definitely liked you. That should have been enough to carry on the relationship, since no sex was involved." But he lied...didn't he?Now he's messaged me "sup." Thought he told me to leave him alone? It's been a month and a half. Should I ignore it? It still hurts a lot. We were good as friends because he always helped me feel better with my family problems, as I helped him with being bullied and his problems, and whenever I was upset, he'd tell me "everybody cries" and tried his best to cheer me up. I find it hard to believe he never cared; once I was joking about my jaw breaking from him making me smile so much and he couldn't bare to hear me joke about my jaw snapping because he "doesn't ever want to imagine me hurt." he said "it made me SICK to hear about girls calling you a b***h!" I'll always care about him no matter what he did to me, I can't deny how I feel about him, but.. I'm pretty sure he did ask out this girl/tell her he liked her. And he lied about it. So I would never go back. Maybe being friends would be ok since we always helped each other out? And he'll never get sex from me so if it's just a "booty call" or whatever I'd really cut him off. What do you think?
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best friend, broke up, bullied, friend with benefits, got back together, I love you, my ex, still a virgin, text Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2011): I would ignore it and move on since he clearly lied about all of this. I don't think you can have a friendship only with him. He just doesn't sound trustworthy to me.
A
female
reader, misztoria  +, writes (30 October 2011):
 Trust me when I say you're better off without him. Don't answer his text, block him if you can. At your age you don't need this kind of drama. I had this kind of drama when I was younger and I wish to God someone had knocked my butt out for even talking to my boyfriend at that time in my life. I know it sounds hard, but it's definitely for the best. You'll thank yourself when you're in your 20's that you didn't waste your time on a boy like that.
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