A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am in my first year university, I am 20 and yes I still live with my parents. Now I am finding it really hard to cope as my parents keep fighting and arguing all the time. My dad hits my mom too.I don't really talk to my dad, we are not close at all but my mom is like my best friend and I love her too much and I feel really sad to see her suffer. She regrets soo much marrying this man. Mom's was an arranged marriage, her parents found the bridegroom.I can't see my mom suffer like this.. it's been 27 years now and they still don't seem to be able to work their marriage out.. What do I do? How do I help my mom?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2009): I am worried that you will be punishing your future boyfriend(s) for what your dad has been doing to your mom. You are not responsible for your parents' marriage, and you should not be the one breaking it. Maybe some therapy will help with your anger and guilt, so that you are able to walk away and have a healthy relationship of your own, in the future.
A
female
reader, Original shiraz!  +, writes (16 April 2009):
You will have helped you mum already without even realising, just knowing that your there for her and she has your support has proably got her through many dark days, you could be the reason she gets up in the morning and carries on through the day. She must be a very tough person on the inside to control her emotions and you should be proud of that. On the other hand your old enough know to see this isnt right, its a very unhealthy relationship and after 27 years things wont always pan out better in time. Its a harsh thought but things could get a lot worse, you have a lot of love for your mom and i know you dont want this and so the only way forward is to get out, both of you. This is the ideal thing to do but after so long this is your mothers life, she may be reluctant to leave or too afraid of the consequences. You are 20 and by now you should be lieing your life, your way yet you are unabale to do this as your being held back, your mom wouldnt want this, shed want whats best for you and the more you witness this lifestyle the more of you itll take away. This is your parents relationship that they need help for, together they need real support and guidance if hope for a future could be a possibility. When the wheels are in motion maybe you could consider moving out and experiancing a different life than what you are used to? Talk to you mom and if possible try with your dad, they have many issues but im sure they have the same conclusion when it comes to your future. You cannot hold this type of relationship oon your own sholders, your life will pass you by and you wont get a chance to grab it until its gone, dont leave it too late. Get help for your mom and maybe seperate help for your dad? If they really hold no future then why not consider you and your mom moving out? Depending on the situation many things can alter, never feel suck for options things will work out but your going to need to push for them.I bet your moms really proud of you, well done for showing her whats most important in life, without you she may have given up a long time ago, youve been her strnegth so never stop that but dont forget your own life too she wants you to have a happy future and you need to get things motivated in order for this to happen quite soon. I really hope everything works out, best of luck
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