A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:so i was seeing this very nice guy since march of this year. it started out good. we would call eachother every day.i tried not to see him every day for the first couple of weeks. he seemed ery interested in me so i went with it. i didnt sleep with him till about a month later. i told him sex makes things complicated for me. how? well i think that i should have sex with someone who is committed to me. so he would somehow explain his way through and we would have sex maybe once every month. but then there would be times when he wouldnt call me. i didnt mind because he wasnt my boyfriend but then i would call him and he wouldnt answer or txt back. so of i would get upset. somehow we would end up talking again after a week or so. then thing would be back to normal. he would say sorry for not calling or txting he was just really busy. that was fine with me. but i guess i just wanted something more serious. or do these things take time. we had alot of conversations about trust. we are both adults and had no time for arguments. but when i would get upset i would send him long txts because i wanted him to know what i was feeling. he would reply to me the next morning telling me he fell asleep and thats one of the reasons why he wouldnt answer my call. so until this last month we started to have sex more often like almost twice a week. and he did it again i called him n he doesnt anwser i txt him n he doesnt reply. i know hes not obligated to call everyday. but im sleeping with him regularly i think i deserve that much. so he didnt take my call so sent him a long txt telling him that i was going to change my number and why do i keep on running back to him as if he were the only one. and he still didnt reply or call me the next morning. so i went ahead and changed my phone number the next day. other then him being missing in action when he was there for me everything was fine. should i call him back its been almost two weeks now or should i move on?
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female
reader, jojapeach77 +, writes (21 October 2010):
You have to move on. I can relate to some of the points in your story. If he is not calling, is not there when you need him, is avoiding a relationship then he is not interested in something more. If a guy really wants you he will do everything in his power to get you. It doesn't even matter that you changed your number, he would find you. You have to move on, the longer you hold on the hardest it's going to be. I'm learning the hard way too. And if it's meant to be and he wants you, he'll find you. Stay strong.
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (20 October 2010):
 I'm going to point out there was no relationship from the get go. This is one of those jerk offs that somehow fail to mention this is a no strings attached, no expectations, fuck buddies arrangement. He pulled a once over on you, don't worry those jerks seep through the cracks, even happened once to me. They apologize like crazy, giving every lame excuse to explain their actions. And you fall for it every time. Going to say the same as everyone else he doesn't have your best interests at heart he's using you for sex and disappearing for weeks at a time. In fact I suspect he has a girlfriend that he's cheating on. If he was really into you, he would be answering your phone calls and texts..not ignoring nearly every one of them.
You had your answer in the beginning, and when you changed your phone number..Take it from me. 3 days without calling or texting you is ok, but 2 weeks? No. Just take this situation as lesson learned and you will be more aware next time.
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A
female
reader, petina1  +, writes (20 October 2010):
 It sounds like y ou are more serious than him. You shouldnt have to explain to him or run after him. If his feelings were as strong as yours he wouldnt want to be away from you for very long. He may be seeing others or just picking you up when he is at a loose end. One way or the other your gut feeling must be telling you that you are maintaining what ever the relationship is, not him. You may have to put up with what you have or look elsewhere I'm afraid. Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (20 October 2010):
 Sweetie, he is using you, he only wants you when he wants sex - he doesnt want committment.
Move on with your life, you deserve better.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (20 October 2010):
 If there's something I learned from experience, it's : always mind about what happens- not about the whys and hows it happened.
I used to date ( alas,for a long time ! ) a real Houdini,an artist of vanishing acts. He was also very smooth and very good with words, and he usually could convince me that everything was fine and it was just me overreacting/nagging/obsessing.
Once I called him , he said " I am in the middle of shaving myself, I 'll call you back in half an hour ". He called back after 23 days . And for each and any of the 23 days he had gone missing, he had a very circumstantiated, logical, reasonable explanation of WHY he could not have possibly called me that day.
I got older and wiser , and I have decided that " why " is not my problem anymore. Overtime at work ; stress; the devil made me do it.... it does not matter.
What matters is what is really happening, here and now- and whether what happens meets my needs, makes my life better rather than worse, gives me positive feelings and sensations-or not.
If it does not- better alone than mismatched.
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A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (20 October 2010):
 He's fine for a few days, then sleeps with you and doesn't call for a while, then apologizes and smooths everything over when you're upset about him not getting in touch. From what I can understand, this cycle has repeated at least twice. The real question is this: why were you still sleeping with him regularly?
He's not interested in being with you, he's only interested in sex when it's convenient for him. I'm sorry to be harsh, but he just doesn't care about anything else. Some men will do and say anything to get you to sleep with them, unfortunately.
The same cycle will repeat if you call him, and exactly as the female anon said, calling him even after you've changed your number will show you're hooked and just can't stay away. Forget about that idiot, he's only going to keep using you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2010): Please read some of the text on here
'He's just not that into you!'
I know it hurts, but he is using you for the sex, and is probably feeling that you are pestering him by now.
If he had any feelings for you, he would be there for you and not just for the sex.
Move on, find soemeone who likes you for you as well.
If you call him now after changing your number, he will know he has you WHEN HE NEEDS YOU!
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A
male
reader, shekar  +, writes (20 October 2010):
noways hes not genuine, u assessed wrongly
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A
male
reader, Ven +, writes (20 October 2010):
Move on and find a man who can be as committed as you need him to be.
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