A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:why do men think it's okay for them to just raise up their woman gown and go in? the men get ready easy they can get horny just by looking at you or by kissing or just by rubbing your breast but yet they think that just because they are ready we should be to and that's not true we dont get horny when the wind blow they need to get us ready, does this happen to any other women and if so how does it make you feel. I tell my husband all the time that makes me feel like a whore, granted spontaneous sex is good sometimes but for the most part it's not especially if you are married you want your husband to take the time and show you how much he cares about you getting yours and not all about him getting his.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2009): Hi
You've got some truly wonderful answers!! Listen to them. Clearly, communication is the key. But, I'd like to add that men take their lovemaking seriously. You want him to listen to
you, right? Do it gently, softly and even provocatively. Like, in a gentle voice, take his hand and guide it to the spot you want to be touched, place your hands over his and move it where, how and at a speed that you crave. Reward his efforts with moans, and sighs of pleasure. EVERY man wants to feel like a total sex god. Play up to this feeling by complimenting him when he gets it right! And as you guys get more confident, find books that advise various sex techniques and suggest provocatively that you'd like to try one of those!! make him take it slow, don't let him take off your clothes until you are absolutely sure that you too are there. I think it is high time that you truly enjoyed sex!!! So, hey, take a steamy shower, dress up, light some candles and celebrate tonight!! Hope he learns his lesson well!!
BEST OF LUCK
A
male
reader, multitask +, writes (1 October 2009):
Telling him would be great but show him. Show him how you like to be touched and how you want it to be done.
Unfortunately some guys are hard headed, I know I was. It takes time to learn and when a guy is ready to go he just wants to do it. My ex taught how to take my time by just walking when I was in the heat of the moment, leaving me very frustrated. She would then tease me and say "see thats how you do it". She also showed me (contrary to just telling) how mind blowing sex could be for both of us if we just teased and took our time to explore and experiment.
My advice. Take control and show him how you want it to be done. Where to touch where to lick and what really turns you on. Then allow him to put it into practice. If he refuses to learn. Punish him with a lack of sex.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (30 September 2009):
You are a WOMAN! Remind him of this and tell him that you would like him to spend time on your body. Tell him that it would be more pleasurable for you if he spent time just 'readying' you more, then you'd both have more pleasure. If he refuses, then ban him!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2009): My latest boyfriend was like that - I don't know if it was shyness, nerves or what! - But the first time we did it - he just climbed on top and expected "it" to slide in!! - Needless to say it didn't!!
Anyway, I explained to him that foreplay is a MUST before a girl can really relax enough - so you could say that too to your husband!
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A
female
reader, Lola1  +, writes (30 September 2009):
 Men like feeling as though they are pleasing their wives. That yours is impatient does not mean this is an issue for all men.
You may tell your husband that you want him to give you more time, but you do not actually change your actions, do you? I suggest you refuse sex until he has spent some time "readying" you for the act.
If he understands that you don't enjoy sex with him because it has so far, not been an act of MUTUAL pleasure, I think he will change his tune.
Foreplay can be just as spontaneous as sex. And if you get what you need most of the time, you won't mind the odd time it is a "quicky" with little-to-no foreplay.
Those last “tid-bits” are for your husband's knowledge. ;-)
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (30 September 2009):
 Tell your man that he needs to learn how to operate your machinery properly or you'll find someone else that can. He's just being selfish and stupid.
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