A
female
age
41-50,
*9agegap
writes:I just broke up with my bf...together for almost a year and things were great. We are in our 20s-30s so mature adults here. Thing is we've had different expectations about marriage (I know this is a fundamental problem) and he's going through some stress in his life now. Instead of making it better, I added more stress by nagging at him about commitment. He couldn't take it and broke up with me. I know we still have differences...but I'm sure we can work things out. We were VERY happy together before I started freaking out and always stressing him out. I know that I was in the wrong for that (so does he as he does not give me enough reassurance)..so 2 hands to clap. The thing is...I still love him, a lot and I want him back. It's a gamble, but I want to be with him more than anything. What do you think? When a guy breaks up with you during a stressful period....if I give him time...is he likely to reconsider me again? Or that's the end for us already. Can you pls share your break up then get back together experiences? Thanks
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female
reader, 19agegap +, writes (13 June 2008):
19agegap is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell I said I hope he's feeling more relaxed now. And he said that I'm rite... he needs to take it easier no matter what. Told me that he's fine... don t worry about him
A
female
reader, pepper27  +, writes (13 June 2008):
 Sorry to hear your mum isnt well hunny, He spoke to you for awhile concerned about your mum so thats a good thing love..That bit you put about he said you were right he has to learn to take things easy can I ask what and how this was said love? At least he has shown some concern...TAKE CARE WITH LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
female
reader, 19agegap +, writes (13 June 2008):
19agegap is verified as being by the original poster of the questionrecently my mum fell sick and i put something like i'm worried on facebook. He msged me asking if everything is fine, but we only talked for like 3 sentences. He asked me not to worry about him and that i was right, he has to learn how to take things easy. So I guess, that's it....he probably just care like a friend.
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A
female
reader, pepper27 +, writes (6 June 2008):
Hunny forget about him for 1 minute and read a little of the self esteem link I sent you, you are going round in circles..GET STRONG BEFORE YOU HAVE ANY CONTACT! Be a different you..If you have to have contact which I wouldnt but if you need this closure then take som advise from that link get strong and then face it...You may find that after you have gained your confidence back and your self esteem is higher you wont need to contact him as you will then realise what a arsehole he was for finishing over an e-mail plus it will help you to overcome any problems you were having that you will never make the same mistake twice...And I personally think you deserve better hunny. You may not feel that now, Please give that site a chance it has helped so many women, Ive had so much great feed back on it love...get strong within yourself before you make any rash decitions. love mandy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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A
female
reader, 19agegap +, writes (6 June 2008):
19agegap is verified as being by the original poster of the questionit's been 2 weeks as i said and he's not contacted me....and might never will. Yet, I still miss him like crazy of course. I wonder....perhaps the reason why I can't move on is cuz we didn't have a proper closure (he broke up with me via email)? Should I contact him and get my heart thoroughly broken?
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A
female
reader, pepper27 +, writes (5 June 2008):
sweety you really do have to start thinking of you now...Its going to grind you down day after day thinking of this all the time and of him...I sent you a link on coping with a breakup..But your self esteem and confidence needs a lift as well hunny for you to be able to get strong to deal with this....
http://www.womensselfesteem.com/index.html
Ive used this link alot its so good and many a woman has been helped in some way even a little way. Myself included by reading some of this advise. Give it a try hunny just a little at a time, You need to get your strength back, once you feel more possitive you will hopefully be able to deal with this in a more constructive way, TAKE CARE HUNNY LOVE MANDY XXXXXX
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A
female
reader, 19agegap +, writes (5 June 2008):
19agegap is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks Mandy for your support. Yes, it was very low of him to do that...and I keep telling myself I deserve better. But not a moment has gone by without me thinking of him.
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A
female
reader, pepper27 +, writes (4 June 2008):
Im not suprised your miserable hunny to have a breakup via e-mail is the same as having your guy breakup over a text message, if he can do this without any thought of your feelings and just run then he is a coward...Yes you pressured him and no he wasnt ready but to finish a relationship this way is the lowest...I can offer you support and help in overcoming this if you want to write me, I'll help as much as I can...You need to gain back your confidence and realise that you are worthy of a good relationship and that is yet to happen...
http://www.lovenemotions.com/relationships/coping-with-breakups.php
Ive found this link hunny I hope it is of some help to you WITH LOVE AND PRAYERS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (4 June 2008):
 To My Friends Who Are………… HEARTBROKEN !
Heartbreaks last as long as you want and cut as deep as you allow them to go.
The challenge is not how to survive heartbreaks
but to learn from them.
To My Friends Who Are………… NAIVE !
How to be in love: Fall but don’t stumble,
Be consistent but not too persistent, share
and never be unfair, understand and try not to
demand, and get hurt but never keep the
pain.
From the same unknown author.
If you love someone, you should learn to let them go......
You cannot possess love for it will wilt and die ..
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A
female
reader, 19agegap +, writes (4 June 2008):
19agegap is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI still love him a lot and I can't let go. I have not contacted him as I know he will be happier without having to deal with me. But the thing is we broke up over email and I always felt that I do not have any closure.....however, I wonder ...so what....So what if there's a closure, it will not change anything. There's never a moment where I've stopped missing him and i'm totally miserable
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (4 June 2008):
If he has commitment issues, then he is not in the marriage market.
Do not waste your time .You will only go back to first base.
To My Friends Who Are………… STILL HOLDING ON ..
A sad thing about life is when you meet someone and fall in love,
only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be
and that you have wasted years on someone who wasn’t worth it.
If he isn’t worth it now he’s not going to be worth it a year or 10 years from now.
Let go…..
To My Friends Who Are……….SINGLE
Love is like a butterfly. The more you chase it,
the more it eludes you.
But if you just let it fly,it will come to you when you least expect it.
Love can make you happy but often it hurts,
but love’s only special when you give it to someone who is
really worth it.
So take your time and choose the best.
Author Unknown
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A
female
reader, pepper27 +, writes (4 June 2008):
Its been two weeks with no contact at all, I personally would leave it hunny, I no its hard but if he hasnt bothered at all then its time to move on with your life sweetheart and start thinking of you again..Im sorry to here of all your pain TAKE CARE OF YOU WITH LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
female
reader, 19agegap +, writes (4 June 2008):
19agegap is verified as being by the original poster of the questionit's been almost 2 weeks....and still nothing from him. is 2 weeks a good sign that he really does not want it anymore?
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A
female
reader, MissWendlemoot  +, writes (2 June 2008):
 You're doing fine. A week isn't long at all. Just wait for him to contact you and don't contact him.
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A
female
reader, pepper27 +, writes (31 May 2008):
I would just send a message saying quite cassual "How are you" kinda thing hunny but dont feel let down if you dont get a reply..Its either waiting for him to contact you or just that quick how are you message..Thats all you can do hunny TAKE CARE WITH LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
female
reader, 19agegap +, writes (31 May 2008):
19agegap is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks all. it's been a week.....how much longer do you think I should wait? should i contact him even if he does not call me again? how should i contact him? like 'how are you' or straight to the point that I want to get back together with him?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2008): well...ladies should not nagg a gut when he is under stress
because it ends up for the worst like what happned to you
and when we are usually under stress we end up saying something we regret or don't mean it....
so i would consider giving him some time to coolz the stess downa dn see what happens next
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A
female
reader, pepper27 +, writes (26 May 2008):
The last post is right hunny...Time to miss you love, I understand your pain sweetheart just give it a little time and no contact let him contact you love, If you need a chit chat message me ok love XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
female
reader, MissWendlemoot +, writes (26 May 2008):
Give him time. Don't contact him in any way. It'll give him a chance to really miss you. If he really wants a future with you, he'll be back
Best wishes! xo
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A
female
reader, 19agegap +, writes (26 May 2008):
19agegap is verified as being by the original poster of the questionsigh...the thing is....if we would get back together at all
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A
female
reader, pepper27 +, writes (26 May 2008):
Hi Hunny
If you are both going through a stressfull time, you wanting one thing your b/f wanting another then the end result can end up like it has with you two....To much pressure sweetheart.. Its not your fault you just want to get your point across and feel he may not be listening. But he is, Men take in and listen and sometimes dont have much to say , But they think...If you drop the pressure It could improve a great deal..Not one single person is perfect love its all a learning curve...You say you are happy and content with the relationship as it is, Apart from the marriage differences..I always think hunny that some times you can want something so much it takes over your life and you can forget what is important, NOT SAYING THIS IS YOU OK! But love at the end of the day is you two together and happy....If you do want him to come back I would pop the wedding plans on hold for as long as it takes as the two of you are important and he would not be with you if he did not want to in the first place....He has gone as the pressure was getting to much, Let things calm down and hopefully you will be able to sort this out..If you have been together almost a yr it can seem a little to quick to get married for some. Not everyone but some people may feel they are not ready to make a comitment of that nature..Hunny give this time and give him time and hopefully things will work out for you ok..WITH LOTS OF LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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